IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Most countries spend lots of money on education as they start to recognise its importance. In your opinion which two following subjects are the most important for your people and which one is the least important?

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It has been said that investing in education is investing in one's future:
this
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 is true for both individuals and nations. It is always somewhat subjective to say which is more important, the humanities or the sciences, as both have value.
However
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, I would like to make a case for the importance of math and
economics
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 in
this
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 day and age. Let us begin with math. Mathematics is a foundation subject which bridges many different fields, from physics and chemistry to the Internet and modern medicine. All of our material advances in the 20th century could not have happened without advanced mathematics. To be sure, it will play a critical role in meeting challenges like global warming and space travel, to name just a few, in the future.
Likewise
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,
economics
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 is a fundamental discipline that allows societies to be stable and move forward. History is full of examples of kingdoms and empires that collapsed as their economies declined. Most obviously, we need to look no
further
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 than the current economic meltdown to see the importance of
economics
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. The jobs and well-being of individuals and nations alike depend upon a deeper understanding of
this
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 field.
While
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 all subjects have their merit, perhaps Geography does not have the same importance it once did. After all, in our modern world we have 3-D maps online that allow us to see anywhere with the click of a mouse. But to reiterate, we need a balanced approach to education where we still produce artists, thinkers, historians and so on. To summarize, math and
economics
Use synonyms
 are critical subjects in the 21st century. Governments must do their part to make sure we invest in these key areas and have qualified teachers. By doing so, they will ensure our prosperity and progress.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument supporting the importance of math and economics, and you provide logical reasoning in your explanations. However, you could strengthen your response by incorporating more specific examples or data to reinforce your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To enhance flow further, consider using more varied linking phrases to connect ideas and transitions between points.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and outlines the focus of your essay clearly.
task achievement
You provide a strong rationale for both math and economics, linking their significance to contemporary issues which demonstrates relevance and understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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