In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

Some nations currently experience instances of juvenile delinquency which mainly stems from poverty.The writer of

this

essay asserts that the implementation of vocational training programs for

children

can potentially mitigate the aforementioned issue. One core factor contributing to the motives behind teenagers engaging in serious crime is the financial hardship endured within their households. In essence, being raised in a low-income family has restricted the way

children

approach stimulating educational resources

as well as

limited employment prospects which has fostered a belief of having no legitimate avenues to earn money associated with a sense of alienation and despair among the youth.

Nevertheless

this

will make them more susceptible to the allure of criminal activity as a means of financial survival and escape from their socioeconomic circumstances.

Hence

, the propensity for juvenile delinquency not only undermines their own families but

also

poses a significant threat to societal well-being. To address

this

issue, investing in vocational training programs must be considered. Specifically,

through

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the integration of vocational training with the current schooling curriculum,

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will equip at-risk youth criminals with hands-on skills that are in demand in the workplace

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

thereby a clear path towards sustainable employment and achieving financial independence . Take Germany as a relevant example where the approach of vocational training has offered valuable lessons to

children

during their study time, especially in terms of those having a familial financial background to empower them moving forward from the susceptibility of crime commitment. In conclusion, the financial strain has driven teenagers to engage in criminal behaviours.

Nevertheless

, it is essential to create a safer community when it comes to implementing vocational programs to steer

children

from the likelihood of crime.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Sun Oct 15 2023

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task achievement

The essay does well in addressing the prompt, but some arguments could benefit from further development. Try to provide more specific examples and detailed arguments to support your points.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is mostly clear and logically structured, a little more work could be done to improve coherence. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next and that all sentences are clearly connected.

supported main points

Ensure all points are well-supported with relevant and specific examples. Adding more context or detail to your examples can make your arguments more compelling.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a solid frame for your essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

The essay shows a good understanding of the issue and offers practical solutions.

logical structure

Logical structure is maintained throughout with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

Fully explain your ideas

In some contries more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. what are the reasons for this? is this positive or negative development?

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make a difference, others say that individuals can protect the environment. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. This has led to an increase in the number of elderly people who need care, often putting pressure on families and public services. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.