In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?
Some nations currently experience instances of juvenile delinquency which mainly stems from poverty.The writer of
this
essay asserts that the implementation of vocational training programs for children
can potentially mitigate the aforementioned issue.
One core factor contributing to the motives behind teenagers engaging in serious crime is the financial hardship endured within their households. In essence, being raised in a low-income family has restricted the way children
approach stimulating educational resources as well as
limited employment prospects which has fostered a belief of having no legitimate avenues to earn money associated with a sense of alienation and despair among the youth. Nevertheless
, this
will make them more susceptible to the allure of criminal activity as a means of financial survival and escape from their socioeconomic circumstances. Hence
, the propensity for juvenile delinquency not only undermines their own families but also
poses a significant threat to societal well-being.
To address this
issue, investing in vocational training programs must be considered. Specifically, through
the integration of vocational training with the current schooling curriculum, Change preposition
apply
this
will equip at-risk youth criminals with hands-on skills that are in demand in the workplace Correct pronoun usage
apply
which
thereby a clear path towards sustainable employment and achieving financial independence . Take Germany as a relevant example where the approach of vocational training has offered valuable lessons to Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
during their study time, especially in terms of those having a familial financial background to empower them moving forward from the susceptibility of crime commitment.
In conclusion, the financial strain has driven teenagers to engage in criminal behaviours. Nevertheless
, it is essential to create a safer community when it comes to implementing vocational programs to steer children
from the likelihood of crime.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
The essay does well in addressing the prompt, but some arguments could benefit from further development. Try to provide more specific examples and detailed arguments to support your points.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is mostly clear and logically structured, a little more work could be done to improve coherence. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next and that all sentences are clearly connected.
supported main points
Ensure all points are well-supported with relevant and specific examples. Adding more context or detail to your examples can make your arguments more compelling.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a solid frame for your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay shows a good understanding of the issue and offers practical solutions.
logical structure
Logical structure is maintained throughout with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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