The diagram shows the procedure to make chocolate with detailed mapping information.

The diagram shows the procedure to make chocolate with detailed mapping information.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The diagram shows the procedure to make chocolate with detailed mapping information.
The diagram shows how
cocoa
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beans
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are processed into a number of products for consumers and industrial use in three stages.
Overall
Linking Words
, the initial stage of rudimentary processing of
beans
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pave
Wrong verb form
paved
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the way for them being either used as an ingredient of
chocolate
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or simply turned into power and liquor. In the first stage, whole
beans
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picked from trees are shelled to get the nuts inside which are
then
Linking Words
dried and pressed. Those to be used for making
chocolate
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will be refined so as to remove
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unwanted materials like
remains
Correct article usage
the remains
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of shells. The resulting pure nuts are mixed with sugar and industrial
chocolate
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before the mixture is again treated to eventually produce
chocolate
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goods for markets.
Cocoa
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beans
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pressed in stage one may
also
Linking Words
be compressed for the second time to form
cocoa
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cakes which are
then
Linking Words
ground into powder for public purchase. It is noticeable that the grinding of
cocoa
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cakes
also
Linking Words
produces
cocoa
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liquor for
food
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the food
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industry including
making
Correct article usage
the making
show examples
of cakes and drinks

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cocoa, beans, chocolate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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