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Band 5.5

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#celebrities #money #politicians #development
In recent days and ages, it can be seen that celebrities have more pay as compared to politicians. There can be a large number of reasons
due to
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which
Correct word choice
why
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this
 occurs.
According to
 my point of view, there are two main reasons that are discussed with some of the relevant examples. To commence with, the major reason is the popularity. People who are more popular earn more. In recent years, it has been seen that the youth are more interested in entertainment like movies, music and sports,
instead
 of political news.
This
 helps them to increase their popularity.
This
 is the reason why the thespians are earning more than the legislators.
For instance
, some sports persons like Virat Kohli, Christiano Ronaldo and Lion Messi are the
highest paid
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highest-paid
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 athletes than any other
politician
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politicians
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 in the world. The key cause is their popularity among youth
as well as
 elders.
In addition
 to
this
, the second explanation can be the work of the field. What
this
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these
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 states are that
,
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a
the
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politician can not change their field, unlike sportsmen and women or heroes and heroes. Like, some actors and
actress
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actresses
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 work in their own field but
also
 in some advertisements
as well as
 can have a few numbers of international films.
However
,
the
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politicians do not have as much leverage to perform in some other fields aside from their profession.
To conclude
this
, from my perspective, it is not a positive development. The reason is that the country is run by politicians
not
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, not
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 by any thespian. The rules and regulations are made by a lawmaker of that country.
Submitted by khushiaggarwal255 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a stronger introduction that clearly presents the topic and your position.
coherence cohesion
Expand on the points and provide additional examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by discussing potential positive aspects of celebrities earning more money.
grammatical range accuracy
Proofread the essay for grammar and punctuation errors.
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