Online shopping has various advantages for consumers but may also have disadvantages, such as the loss of some individual privacy. Do the advantages of online shopping for the consumer outweigh the disadvantages?
In
this
day and age, there is no denying on there are numerous advantages of online shopping on human daily life, but in draw back also
including some potential risk for individual privacy. From a personal perspective despite there are number of disadvantages to people
privacy this
ideal is insufficient enough to these advantages, and this
essay shall elaborate on the rationales.
On the one
hand the opponents of e-commercial mostly based their opinions on the fear that their privacy. One
downside of trading online is that when people
want to make a purchase online, they must provide their payment methods such
as: bank account, credit card numbers and home address for goods delivery. In this
technology era, if individual information is not protected, the potential of be deceive by cybercrimes are always. They are ready to stealing people
personal’s information for sinister purpose such
as: embezzle personal social media account to defrauding our close relative or take all the amount off money in bank account. As a result
, it could be lead to bankrupt or even that people
lose their saving for the elderly so they become dependent by their children and government.
Another major drawback of shopping online is that customers have challenge to assessing quality of products
without touch. This
will result in a large quantity of products
are do not meet the required of customers, it make them fell disappointed and angry.
On the other hand
, shopping is one
of the most resources contributed to economic development. One
reason why shopping online is advantages is that electronic commerce provides millions of job opportunities for people
. It helps to serve job demand problems globally, a recent study pinpointing that over 5 million people
in the world are have their job with online selling. Another benefit of this
trend could be that it has changed the way we are buying products
. When the first appeared of online marketplace we buy and select products
was less time consumption more than ever before. For examples, in Vietnam, when people
are asked about the choice between traditional shopping and online shopping, 70% of surveyed object choosing to online shopping because it come up with a plenty of discount event and do not required go out side.
In conclusion, I think the changes to online shopping are a positive step toward a better world.Submitted by phongnguyenthanh630 on
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task achievement
The introduction is not clear and does not provide a clear overview of the essay content. It should be revised to clearly state the topic, the author's perspective, and the main points that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and cohesion. The logical structure of the essay needs improvement, and there is a lack of clear organization of ideas. Additionally, there is a need for better linking words and phrases to connect the ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and could benefit from the use of more precise and varied vocabulary to express ideas.
grammatical range accuracy
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay. It is important to review grammar rules and ensure accurate and proper use of tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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