Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extend do you agree?

#companies #sport #facilities #communities

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There are different viewpoints regarding who may build

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

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for inhabitants. Some

people

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argue that enterprises should provide them for the public;

however

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, I believe that it is the government’s responsibility There are several benefits for companies when they open

sports

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facilities

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for dwellers.

Firstly

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, the firms can charge an entrance fee for each visitor, the more

people

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attend their place, the more money companies get.

Secondly

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, enterprises can advertise their products and sell them at their

facilities

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As a result

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, they will earn lots of money from that and even improve their image among the community.

For instance

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, research indicates that exclusive

facilities

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often make profits for their owners by selling goods and entry tickets.

Moreover

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, these private

facilities

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are often more modern and well-preserving than public spaces;

therefore

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, allowing

people

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to have a suitable place for

sports

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activities.

On the other hand

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, these exclusive areas will often be full of

people

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and the entrance price is not cheap; alternatively, governments have to provide their citizens with free

sports

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facilities

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. In order to improve citizens’ health, these places are important for

people

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to exercise.

As a result

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, not only will the inhabitants’ strength rise, but the countries’ economies will

also

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grow significantly.

For example

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, studies conducted in 2018 showed that healthy dwellers would

make

Verb problem

create

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a strong economy for that country.

Furthermore

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, humans have to pay taxes to the government to enhance our living

standard

Fix the agreement mistake

standards

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, so demanding free training places is our benefit.

Thus

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, governments have to be responsible for building these places

instead

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of particular companies. In conclusion, there are plenty of positives of having

sports

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facilities

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for

people

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. I consider that If governments funded the

facilities

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and enterprises operated, it would be the best for

people

Use synonyms

Submitted by namkhanh.tran2310 on Tue Oct 17 2023

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task achievement

Try to provide a clearer opinion in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

Add more transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary.

grammatical range accuracy

Make sure to use correct grammar forms.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

community well-being
corporate social responsibility (CSR)
healthcare costs
public image
customer loyalty
economic growth
community relations
job satisfaction
balanced lifestyle
stimulate local economy

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Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extend do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Influence of human beings on the worlds ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. Causes and solutions

Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on arts such as Music and Painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?