Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extend do you agree?

#companies #sport #facilities #communities

There are different viewpoints regarding who may build

sports

facilities

for inhabitants. Some

people

argue that enterprises should provide them for the public;

however

, I believe that it is the government’s responsibility There are several benefits for companies when they open

sports

facilities

for dwellers.

Firstly

, the firms can charge an entrance fee for each visitor, the more

people

attend their place, the more money companies get.

Secondly

, enterprises can advertise their products and sell them at their

facilities

As a result

, they will earn lots of money from that and even improve their image among the community.

For instance

, research indicates that exclusive

facilities

often make profits for their owners by selling goods and entry tickets.

Moreover

, these private

facilities

are often more modern and well-preserving than public spaces;

therefore

, allowing

people

to have a suitable place for

sports

activities.

On the other hand

, these exclusive areas will often be full of

people

and the entrance price is not cheap; alternatively, governments have to provide their citizens with free

sports

facilities

. In order to improve citizens’ health, these places are important for

people

to exercise.

As a result

, not only will the inhabitants’ strength rise, but the countries’ economies will

also

grow significantly.

For example

, studies conducted in 2018 showed that healthy dwellers would

make

Verb problem

create

show examples

a strong economy for that country.

Furthermore

, humans have to pay taxes to the government to enhance our living

standard

Fix the agreement mistake

standards

show examples

, so demanding free training places is our benefit.

Thus

, governments have to be responsible for building these places

instead

of particular companies. In conclusion, there are plenty of positives of having

sports

facilities

for

people

. I consider that If governments funded the

facilities

and enterprises operated, it would be the best for

people

Submitted by namkhanh.tran2310 on Tue Oct 17 2023

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task achievement

Try to provide a clearer opinion in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

Add more transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary.

grammatical range accuracy

Make sure to use correct grammar forms.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

288 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extend do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Billions of dollars are being wasted each year on space research. The money could be better used to improve conditions on earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Older people often choose to spend money on themselves (e.g. on holidays) rather than save money for their children after retirement. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people feel that children should be educated in single sex schools; others argue that mixed schools are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.