Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Currently, the gap between prosperous and poor countries is expanding. Affluent cities usually give financial help to underdeveloped cities,
however
Linking Words
, they cannot handle the problem in that way.
Thus
Linking Words
, developed
nations
Use synonyms
should help these countries in different ways rather than financial ones.
This
Linking Words
idea has both benefits and drawbacks. I completely agree with the latter point of view.
Firstly
Linking Words
, giving financial assistance to wealthy
nations
Use synonyms
has some demerits. What I mean by
that is
Linking Words
maybe there is a high level of corruption in underdeveloped cities.
This
Linking Words
is simply because nowadays nobody wants to give help to needy citizens. Government can be another reason why some places do not develop.
This
Linking Words
is simply because maybe they do not know how to spend money for what.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, there might be a lack of public facilities or employment opportunities.
Secondly
Linking Words
, prosperous
nations
Use synonyms
should establish their own firms and companies in these less developed
nations
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, there might be some job opportunities.
For instance
Linking Words
, if there is a factory or company which is situated in a poor country, their factories require employees in order to start producing something.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the population may have well-paid jobs to take care of their families.
In addition
Linking Words
, these firms can give a helping hand to the government
such
Linking Words
as building new accommodations, schools, hospitals and others. Apart from that, its change causes the improvement of public transportation.
For example
Linking Words
, companies should have enough workers, but not all of them do not leave close to their workplace. So, it requires a good transport system. The corporations may create that for their employees.
To sum up
Linking Words
, personally, I believe that high levels of corruption and weakness of government are the primary causes of poverty in poor
nations
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are more pros rather than cons.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion could be more clearly presented and connected to the main idea of the essay. Ensure that the ideas are logically connected throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
The response provides some relevant ideas, but it could be more comprehensive. Ensure that all aspects of the task are addressed, and use specific examples more effectively to support the points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: