the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number oof new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

The line graph provides information about the number of shops that closed and opened for 7 years from 2011 to 2018.

Overall

, both of the indicators illustrate fluctuating regress between 2011 and 2018. In 2011 number of opening shops held the top spot, approximately 8.500 in quantity.

However

, in the next year, it showed a very sharp fall from 8.500 to 4.000.

Nevertheless

, it was shown able to a significant rise approximately

until

Change preposition

show examples

6.000. Unfortunately, it was lamentable since they lost significant progress until reaching 3.000 in 2018.

By comparison

, In 2011 number of closures shops held the

last

spot with about 6.400 quantity.To the surprise, In the next three years, it showed a variation rise from 6.400 to about 6.600.

However

, in the next year, it showed

considerable

Add an article

a considerable

show examples

decrease to less than one thousand. But the closures section was able to show a dramatic rise

until

Change preposition

show examples

more than 5.000. Fortunately, the next two years it was without any significant changes and progressed between 5.000 and 5.200.

Submitted by aikumarbekarys on Thu Oct 19 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

167 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

retail sector
economic trends
fluctuations
correlation
consumer habits
market analysis
closure rate
opening rate
commercial landscape
socio-economic factors
business climate
entrepreneurship
decline
surge
financial crisis
competition
e-commerce
brick-and-mortar
sustainability
forecast

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the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number oof new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?