the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number oof new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number oof new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
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The line graph provides information about the number of shops that closed and opened for 7 years from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, both of the indicators illustrate fluctuating regress between 2011 and 2018. In 2011 number of opening shops held the top spot, approximately 8.500 in quantity.
However
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, in the next year, it showed a very sharp fall from 8.500 to 4.000.
Nevertheless
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, it was shown able to a significant rise approximately
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
6.000. Unfortunately, it was lamentable since they lost significant progress until reaching 3.000 in 2018.
By comparison
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, In 2011 number of closures shops held the
last
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spot with about 6.400 quantity.To the surprise, In the next three years, it showed a variation rise from 6.400 to about 6.600.
However
Linking Words
, in the next year, it showed
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
show examples
decrease to less than one thousand. But the closures section was able to show a dramatic rise
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
more than 5.000. Fortunately, the next two years it was without any significant changes and progressed between 5.000 and 5.200.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail sector
  • economic trends
  • fluctuations
  • correlation
  • consumer habits
  • market analysis
  • closure rate
  • opening rate
  • commercial landscape
  • socio-economic factors
  • business climate
  • entrepreneurship
  • decline
  • surge
  • financial crisis
  • competition
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • sustainability
  • forecast
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