IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think eating meat is bad for health. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #meat #health
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It is often taught that consuming
meat
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 can affect human health negatively. In my opinion, eating
meat
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 clearly can be harmful when
people
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 consume it excessively. On the one hand, when
people
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 eat a high amount of
meat
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, it will undoubtedly lead to some health issues.
In other words
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, most
meat
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 contains high fat, so when
people
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 eat them regularly, it can increase the rate of cholesterol in their blood. Because of
this
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, they may have heart problems.
For example
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, a majority of Yemenis enjoy consuming dishes that contain beef and lamb often, and
due to
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this
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, the number of
people
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 who suffer from high cholesterol is increasing.
Moreover
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, animal protein is very acidic, so
people
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 can get kidney disease and cancel easily.
Hence
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,
people
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 should reduce their intake of
meat
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.
On the other hand
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,
meat
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 is essential for the human body.
This
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 is because
meat
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 is high in protein, so it can help in growth development.
For instance
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,
people
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 who consume
meat
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 can build more muscles which can help them to stay fit and healthy.
Therefore
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, it is good for children and
people
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 who go to the gym to gain muscles.
In addition
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,
meat
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 and fish provide lots of other nutrients,
such
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 as
zink
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zinc
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, vitamins and iron for the body.
To sum up
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,
while
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people
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 may vary in
the
Change the word
their
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 opinion, I believe that when
people
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 do not control their
meat
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 intake, it will cause a number of health issues. If
people
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 want to stay healthy, they should ensure that they have a balanced diet, including fruits and vegetables.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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coherence cohesion
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grammatical range
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