IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think eating meat is bad for health. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #meat #health
It is often taught that consuming
meat
 can affect human health negatively. In my opinion, eating
meat
 clearly can be harmful when
people
 consume it excessively. On the one hand, when
people
 eat a high amount of
meat
, it will undoubtedly lead to some health issues.
In other words
, most
meat
 contains high fat, so when
people
 eat them regularly, it can increase the rate of cholesterol in their blood. Because of
this
, they may have heart problems.
For example
, a majority of Yemenis enjoy consuming dishes that contain beef and lamb often, and
due to
this
, the number of
people
 who suffer from high cholesterol is increasing.
Moreover
, animal protein is very acidic, so
people
 can get kidney disease and cancel easily.
Hence
,
people
 should reduce their intake of
meat
.
On the other hand
,
meat
 is essential for the human body.
This
 is because
meat
 is high in protein, so it can help in growth development.
For instance
,
people
 who consume
meat
 can build more muscles which can help them to stay fit and healthy.
Therefore
, it is good for children and
people
 who go to the gym to gain muscles.
In addition
,
meat
 and fish provide lots of other nutrients,
such
 as
zink
Correct your spelling
zinc
show examples
, vitamins and iron for the body.
To sum up
,
while
people
 may vary in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 opinion, I believe that when
people
 do not control their
meat
 intake, it will cause a number of health issues. If
people
 want to stay healthy, they should ensure that they have a balanced diet, including fruits and vegetables.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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coherence cohesion
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grammatical range
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