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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some schools are very strict about their school uniform and appearance of their pupils, while others schools have very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children having school uniform?

#schools #school #uniform #appearance #pupils #dress #code #children
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There are different opinions about the type of school uniform.
While
 some argue that
such
 attire is too restrictive, others believe that
uniforms
 provide more flexibility
Although
this
 phenomenon can lead to stress and depression among
students
, I believe that the benefits of cost-saving associated with wearing a dress code far outweigh any drawbacks. By wearing
uniforms
,
students
 often better focus on their lessons
due to
 the lack of distractions from fashion and brand-name clothing.
This
 uniformity in clothing can minimize distraction among
students
. A prime example of
this
 is that by wearing
uniforms
,
students
 can concentrate on their lessons without being distracted by the accessories of their peers;
therefore
, there will be no deterrents to their learning process. Another advantage would be
cost-effective
Replace the word
cost-effectiveness
show examples
. Considering expensive clothes and textiles, having a dress code can contribute to reducing additional expenses, especially for individuals who cannot afford
such
 costs or those having several children. On the flip side, imposing severe rules about
students
' appearance would probably create a sense of discomfort and restriction. They may perceive
this
 as a disregard for their privacy, leading to stress and anxiety, particularly for
students
 who are conscious of their appearance. Another disadvantage is limited self-expression. When schools impose wearing
uniforms
,
students
 would become frustrated,
due to
 the lack of consideration for their preferences and interests. In conclusion,
while
 some argue that having
uniforms
 can limit self-expression and be uncomfortable, I do not consider
this
 a valid reason.
This
 is because the benefits of wearing a dress code,
such
 as reducing additional costs for families and minimizing distractions among
students
, are important and should not be overlooked.
Submitted by hongminh317 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your main points, as this will strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth flow of ideas by making use of various cohesive devices and transitional phrases to connect your paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the prompt and covers both advantages and disadvantages of school uniforms.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is present with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas regarding the benefits of school uniforms.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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