IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter, •describe what you enjoyed about the course •say how much cooking you've done since the course • suggest another cookery course you'd like the school to offer

#cookery #course #school #feedback #director #•describe #•say #ve #offer
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Dear Sir, I hope you are doing great! I am writing
this
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 to you as one of your students in the cookery course class.
Firstly
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, I would like to thank you for the wonderful skills you taught us. I have tried a lot of the recipes learnt from you and now everyone praises my cooking
for instance
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, I made a delicious cake on the event of my son`s birthday
last
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 week and my son loves it in fact, not only my son but everybody at the party like the texture and taste of the cake and I just made it by following your given instructions.
Moreover
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, I can say now I am an expert in baking but need to learn
Desi
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 home foods and one of your former students told me that you are pretty good in
desi
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 food making as well. I Request you to please arrange a course which includes all
desi
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 food recipes and techniques so I can learn those skills as well under your supervision and guidance. I am looking forward to a positive response from you in regard to arranging a
desi
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 cooking course. Yours sincerely, Ramisha.
Submitted by ramisha.ejaz23 on

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task response
The letter partially meets the criteria for task response. The content is relevant, but the response lacks clarity and specificity in addressing all parts of the task prompt.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion score is adequate, but the logical structure and organization could be improved. The letter lacks clear paragraph structure and linking devices, leading to some confusion in the flow of ideas.
lexical resource
The lexical resource score is acceptable, but the vocabulary and phrasing could be more varied and sophisticated to enhance the overall quality of the language.
grammatical range
The grammatical range score is moderate, but there are instances of errors in sentence structure and usage. Pay attention to sentence complexity and accuracy.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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