IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some university students live with their family while others live away form home because their universities are in different places. Do you think the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent times, many
students
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 tend to attend colleges that are far from their hometowns,
while
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 some prefer to stay with their
families
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.
However
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, I believe that the advantages of living away from
home
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 are significantly outweighed by the disadvantages.
Firstly
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,
students
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 who live with their
families
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 enjoy several benefits. By staying connected with their family members, they deepen their understanding of their cultural roots and values.
This
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 connection is crucial for preserving traditions and cultural identity for future generations.
Moreover
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, living at
home
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 provides emotional support, which is especially important given the challenging nature of today's education system. The pressures
students
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 face can severely impact their mental health, and being with family fosters a sense of security and reduces stress.
Additionally
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,
families
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 can offer guidance, which is another reason
students
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 might prefer to stay at
home
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. Often,
students
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 find themselves confused about their paths and decisions; in
such
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 situations, family members can serve as invaluable mentors and advisors.
On the other hand
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, living in a university away from
home
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 has its own set of advantages. Primarily, it promotes self-dependence and decision-making skills. It is essential for
students
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 to learn to rely on themselves and navigate important life choices, which would benefit them in the long run.
Additionally
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, being away from family allows
students
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 to explore and learn about other cultures, helping them develop social skills and become more well-rounded individuals.
This
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 exposure can lead to greater success in their careers and ease in communication, which sometimes feels challenging within the confines of family. In conclusion,
while
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 attending a distant university presents certain benefits, the support and guidance provided by
families
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 create a significant positive impact on
students
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' lives in various ways, acting as a crucial source of emotional stability.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points and strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific traditions or values that families help preserve could enhance your response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a seamless flow between your ideas by using more cohesive devices. Phrases that connect sentences and paragraphs could improve the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines your stance on the topic, setting a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reaffirming your views clearly and succinctly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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