Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#punishment #death #penalty #lives #crimes #violence #control #society

None of the countries around the world are safe from criminals and have overwhelmed people. In order to control them, it is suggested that they should be sentenced to death, which can decrease the number of crimes. I strongly disagree with

this

proposal because they should be given another chance. In

this

era, many

offenses

Change the spelling

offences

show examples

are prohibited in countries, like assassinating, abducting, etc., and they penalize them to death for these kinds of sins. But from my perspective, they should be given another opportunity to live in

this

world.

For example

, if someone is a street criminal and snatches mobile phones, wallets, and cars, they should be put in prison for some years;

thus

, they will realize what they have done and will not commit it again.

Additionally

, it is the foremost responsibility of parents to teach their children what is wrong and what is right. If they see their youngsters betrayed, they should teach them where to go and what to do. I personally have seen that in my childhood, one of my peers visited the market with me, and she stole some rubber. The shopkeeper scolded her for

this

action and complained to her parents. They teach them not to perform it again, and she never repeats it.

Moreover

, many adolescents have some psychiatric issues, and they deliberately commit misdeeds. They should be treated well before being punished.

Furthermore

, it

also

involves the government's role because they should check on poverty. Many of the suspects do wrong

due to

poverty and having no money to eat and work. The government needs to look after the economy of a country and should provide the basic requirements for every place in the nation.

This

will reduce the chances of crimes, and

therefore

, the violence will decrease. In conclusion, the penalty of death should not be a significant punishment to control the suspects;

however

, other important roles need to be played in society to overcome

this

issue.

Submitted by sh.mariakhan on Sat Oct 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion with a logical structure and well-supported main points. However, there are minor issues with the presence of introduction and conclusion.

task response

Your essay provides a complete response to the task, with clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant and specific examples. Good job overall, but there is room for improvement in the conclusion and introduction.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

326 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up to date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people think the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life. Others think there are more important factors (hard work or luck). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?