Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#punishment #death #penalty #lives #crimes #violence #control #society

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

None of the countries around the world are safe from criminals and have overwhelmed people. In order to control them, it is suggested that they should be sentenced to death, which can decrease the number of crimes. I strongly disagree with

this

proposal because they should be given another chance. In

this

era, many

offenses

Change the spelling

offences

show examples

are prohibited in countries, like assassinating, abducting, etc., and they penalize them to death for these kinds of sins. But from my perspective, they should be given another opportunity to live in

this

world.

For example

, if someone is a street criminal and snatches mobile phones, wallets, and cars, they should be put in prison for some years;

thus

, they will realize what they have done and will not commit it again.

Additionally

, it is the foremost responsibility of parents to teach their children what is wrong and what is right. If they see their youngsters betrayed, they should teach them where to go and what to do. I personally have seen that in my childhood, one of my peers visited the market with me, and she stole some rubber. The shopkeeper scolded her for

this

action and complained to her parents. They teach them not to perform it again, and she never repeats it.

Moreover

, many adolescents have some psychiatric issues, and they deliberately commit misdeeds. They should be treated well before being punished.

Furthermore

, it

also

involves the government's role because they should check on poverty. Many of the suspects do wrong

due to

poverty and having no money to eat and work. The government needs to look after the economy of a country and should provide the basic requirements for every place in the nation.

This

will reduce the chances of crimes, and

therefore

, the violence will decrease. In conclusion, the penalty of death should not be a significant punishment to control the suspects;

however

, other important roles need to be played in society to overcome

this

issue.

Submitted by sh.mariakhan on Sat Oct 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion with a logical structure and well-supported main points. However, there are minor issues with the presence of introduction and conclusion.

task response

Your essay provides a complete response to the task, with clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant and specific examples. Good job overall, but there is room for improvement in the conclusion and introduction.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

326 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is argued that staying in a nation that requires you to communicate in a foreign language might present both social and practical challenges. I completely agree with this notion as foreigners often experience problems such as soacial isolation, racism, and also segregation in playing games together.
7
band
Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, the advancement of technology has changed the way people work and get an education. They were able to work or learn from home using online applications, which offer more affordable and easy access. However, I believe that there is a huge drawback to this because people tend to get more distractions and more health problems
8
band
Many people believe that children who grow up with little money are more equipped to deal with the problems life throws at them, in comparison to the kids who are born in wealthy families. This essay aims to substantiate this assertion.
On one hand, children born in not-so-affluent families, grow up experiencing life without any luxuries and are more prepared to face the problems that might arise in the future. Many renowned entrepreneurs including Mukesh Ambani have addressed the fact that poverty is the greatest teacher and the biggest motivator. When a person has minimal facilities, they learn to be more appreciative of whatever they have, moreover, it pushes them to work hard to achieve the things they have been missing.
6
band
*The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives.* *To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement*
The very crucial concern of science should be to develop the lives of people. Science should necessarily make people's lives easier. It's indispensable for science to discover more ways that can help humans do their work. There is a huge extension in behalf of positive growth but also there are some drawbacks that concur with this statement. Let's go on to elucidate both aspects.
5.5
band
With the rapid growth of artificial intelligence, in the near future companies will begin reducing the number of employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this present world, the usage of technology is constantly on the rise. Even companies are among the many places that enjoy the usage and benefits of automation. The argument that employees will be totally substituted for technology like IA is an argument that is both agreed upon and disagreed with by many. The two sides of this argument will be thoroughly analysed and discussed in this essay before drawing a reasoned conclusion.

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many people believe that children who grow up with little money are more equipped to deal with the problems life throws at them, in comparison to the kids who are born in wealthy families. This essay aims to substantiate this assertion.

*The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives.* *To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement*

With the rapid growth of artificial intelligence, in the near future companies will begin reducing the number of employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement