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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

What are the causes of the extinction of many species?

Extinction, or the dying out of
species
Use synonyms
, is the decrease in the population of a group of
animals
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. There are plenty of causes that can lead to the disappearance of them.
This
Linking Words
 paragraph will show you 3 main causes of extinction. The biggest cause is the polluted environment. Contaminated environments have detrimental effects on both humans and wildlife. It is not difficult to see marine
species
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 fishes, corals, turtles,... are caught
to
Change preposition
in
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 toxic chemicals
such
Linking Words
 as
bottle
Fix the agreement mistake
bottles
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, nilon,
rubbish
Correct word choice
and rubbish
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,... in oceans, rivers and lakes.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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 that, air contamination is
also
Linking Words
 the reason for the reversal of oxygen levels, which threaten numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animal’s life. Another result of the dying out of
animals
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 is the loss of habitat. Deforestation for harvesting, enlargement of land for farming and the harvesting of wood for fuel and forest products
also
Linking Words
 contribute to comprehensive habitat loss. When habitat is limited,
animals
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 may no longer provide the water, food and cover which is essential for their survival. The
last
Linking Words
 element resulting in the extinction of
species
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 is human predation.
Last
Linking Words
 year, some scientists had a survey about hunting
animals
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 for food. The survey showed that about 50% of the population fancy eating meat from remarkably endangered
species
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. The disappearance of blue whales in the past is considered a typical example of predatism. In 1988, blue whales were a common target for Russian hunters for their meat, which is a source of meat on long sea journeys. In conclusion, it is essential for us to know more about the dying out of endangered
animals
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. It is our responsibility to protect them for a better future.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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