Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people agree with the
idea
that
children
of all ages should be aware of their responsibilities and focus on fulfilling them.
While
others believe that childhood is meant to be enjoyed and
instead
of just focusing on fulfilling their duties, a
child
should be allowed to enjoy
life
freely. In my opinion, I believe that there are advantages and disadvantages to both views. On the one hand, knowing your tasks at
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work or in general
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
life
and fulfilling them is an important skill to have in today's competitive world.
Therefore
, people who are in support of making their
children
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsible being in their early stages of
life
want them to compete
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
at the highest level and be ready for all the challenges.
In addition
, being responsible will not only make the
children
more self-aware and help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
craft a better future for themselves.
Consequently
, they will learn to be more
desciplined
Correct your spelling
disciplined
and self-reliant and will perform every task efficiently.
For instance
, the famous personality Swami Vivekananda is a great proponent of living a disciplined
life
. From his
childhood
Add a comma
childhood,
show examples
he was focused and determined because he took charge of his responsibilities from
his
Change the word
a
show examples
young age.
Moreover
, a responsible
child
would be a gift to his parents in various aspects and would make their lives easier.
In contrast
, it is
also
important to focus on enjoying your
life
in your childhood
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is the period
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
a human being has the least amount of dependencies and
responsibilties
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
. No one
expect
Change the verb form
expects
show examples
them to
Add a missing verb
be effcient
show examples
effcient
Correct your spelling
efficient
in their tasks and hold them
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
for anything they do. The
idea
of letting
children
enjoy
the
Change the word
their
show examples
lives to the fullest at their nascent stage is popular among people who discourage the
idea
of putting unnecessary pressure on their
children
. They believe in the
idea
of free will,
therefore
,
over burdening
Correct your spelling
overburdening
show examples
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
in his or her early stage of
life
could have a negative impact on a
child
's mind. In conclusion, both the ideal have their pros and cons but one must maintain a balance between them
while
implementing them on their
children
.
Children
are a gift of God to humankind. They neither should not be overwhelmed with unnecessary pressure nor
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be set free enough to sabotage their lives.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you directly address the prompt and fully discuss both viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas and arguments in a more coherent and logical manner.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and effectively.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structures and grammar to minimize errors.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
What to do next:
Look at other essays: