IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

47.Some people thing that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talent among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #lawbreakers #prison #talent #work
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Some say that individuals who do not obey the laws should be sent to
jail
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,
while
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 others argue that those who have better talent should be made to
work
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.
This
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 essay would argue that
although
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 lawbreakers must be sentenced to
jail
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, some can help by working in aspects that they are specialized in. On the one hand, sentencing the lawbreakers to prison
,
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apply
show examples
 is the only
way
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 to ensure that they won’t violate rights again and ensure that the citizens are safer without these individuals. The
criminals
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 should carry out all necessary activities so they can change their character and their actions, in
this
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way
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 when they are released they can be good citizens and not perform any illegal activity.
For example
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, in China,
criminals
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 are sent to prison for a certain time, but if police and guards think that they have not changed their behaviour, they are obliged to stay longer.
However
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, I believe that people in
jail
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 could carry out activities that can help others
while
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 they change their
way
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 of being.
On the other hand
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,
criminals
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 with professional talents can be granted specific
work
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 under imprisonment. In some
way
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, if they
work
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 well, they deserve penalties because of misbehaviours and crimes. It is reasonable to allow reformed
criminals
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 to contribute to society with their expertise and skills. Another option is to
work
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 in the military to defend national activities, so they
work
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 for their country, in
this
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 case, people need to make sure about the loyalty of the
criminals
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 so they won’t carry out anything that will harm the country.
For instance
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, police can employ reformed frauds to assist them in detecting fraud cases with their experience. In my opinion,
this
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 point of view is preferable because all individuals may mistakes, the important thing is that they are aware of it and are willing to change them. In conclusion,
although
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criminals
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 should be in
jail
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 when they do something incorrectly
,
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apply
show examples
 if they are talented in specific areas, they can
work
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 to make the whole nation better, and it is,
therefore
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, better to allow
criminals
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 to
work
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 when it is necessary.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lawbreakers
  • Incarceration
  • Deterrence
  • Rehabilitation
  • Recidivism
  • Community Service
  • Restorative Justice
  • Society integration
  • Punishment
  • Overcrowding
  • Reintegration
  • Alternative approaches
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