Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem?

#students #attention #school

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In some educational institutions, there are a number of

students

Use synonyms

who have difficulties with concentration in their lessons. In fact, several reasons can be given for the causes and

besides

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that, there

also

Linking Words

have solutions to every particular problem. One of the most essential causes that can be seen in almost all

students

Use synonyms

is related to social media. There is the fact that

students

Use synonyms

now are not used to spending much time on the Internet.

For instance

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, some schools do not strict learners to turn off their phones when they are in class so

this

Linking Words

can be a problem of

students

Use synonyms

’ distraction.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the health problem is

also

Linking Words

vital to the lack of attention. These days,

due to

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having to study a lot, plenty of

students

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are not likely to be provided with enough nutrition and even lack of sleep.

However

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, there are two ways to make these issues disappear.

Firstly

Linking Words

students

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’ families and their schools should encourage and create several changes for

students

Use synonyms

to join in real social activities and keep them away from their phones.

Besides

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that educational institutes must

also

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set a rule that learners have to turn off their smartphones in their classes.

Secondly

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, for

students

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’ health, parents should be the assistants of their children. Not only they can supervise the study performance of children but they

also

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provide nutritious food immediately and give advice for children to sleep enough time. In conclusion, social media and health problems are the main causes of the decline in concentration in numerous

students

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so families and schools should have solutions to face

with

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apply

show examples

these issues.

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Mon Oct 23 2023

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task response

The essay addresses the reasons for students' lack of concentration and provides solutions. However, the arguments could be further developed and supported with more specific examples.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and present, but there are minor issues with coherence and cohesion within the body paragraphs. The essay would benefit from better paragraph organization and linking words.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

concentration
attention span
distractions
technology
boredom
tiredness
engagement
learning disabilities
teaching techniques
classroom size
family issues
health problems
motivational strategies

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Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the present era, children have fewer responsibilities than in the past. Some people consider this as a positive development, others see it as a negative trend. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport system such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?

Particular cultures are under threat nowdays due to the fact that we are living in a global village.What do you think can be done to protect a society's traditional values and cultures?

A study shows that women may need more care than men. To what extent do you agree with it?