Many people believe that economic development is necessary for a country’s success. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such an approach?

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Many people believe that economic development is essential for a country’s success.
While
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I agree that a strong economy is an important factor in a country’s progress, I
also
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believe that other areas,
such
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as education and healthcare, are equally important and should not be overlooked. On the one hand, economic development brings numerous advantages.
For example
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, it helps a country reach a new level of growth by increasing people’s incomes, reducing unemployment, and allowing the government to invest in infrastructure. As the economy grows, public services
such
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as education and healthcare
also
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tend to improve. These developments can lead to greater stability, prosperity, and peace within society.
On the other hand
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, rapid economic growth can
also
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create serious problems. Increased industrial production often leads to pollution and environmental damage. If a country focuses only on economic progress, it may harm its natural environment and reduce the quality of life for future generations.
Additionally
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, global economic competition can result in the overuse of natural resources, creating long-term sustainability issues. In conclusion,
while
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economic development is undoubtedly important for a country’s success, it should not be the only priority. A balanced approach that
also
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supports education, healthcare, and environmental protection will lead to more sustainable and meaningful progress.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument with balanced viewpoints on the topic, which is great. However, you may want to provide more specific examples or case studies to further support your points about economic development and its effects. This could enhance your response and make your arguments more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, your structure is logical and easy to follow. Consider using more linking words or phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs, which could improve coherence. For instance, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could help connect your points better.
introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your discussion, providing a clear thesis statement that outlines your perspective.
supported main points
You have done a good job of addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of economic development, which shows a balanced approach in your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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