Many countries thought children have to do homework in their free time while others say children should do more outdoor activity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an ongoing debate among people
according
Change preposition
as
show examples
to whether it is better for kids to spend their free
time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying rather than playing. Many people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that,
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
generation has
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
competitive environment than
former
Add an article
the former
show examples
generation.
Therefore
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents tend to encourage their
children
to study hard and reduce their play
time
for their
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
life
in the future.
that
Capitalize word
That
show examples
is because playing does not show any benefit
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
their academic
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
.
For example
, there is no university
Correct pronoun usage
that accepted
show examples
accepted
Wrong verb form
accepts
show examples
a student because he can
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
hide and seek well.
However
, the development of
children
is
also
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
important issue that
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to be considered. To live a
life
, the academic
skills
are not the only important part, but
also
the psychosocial
skills
such
as communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
,
life
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, and
adaptibility
Correct your spelling
adaptability
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
that have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crucial roles in
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
life
.
Which all
Correct pronoun usage
All
show examples
of those
skills
are acquired from outdoor activities.
In addition
, having a balance between both
play
Correct your spelling
playtime
show examples
time
and study
time
is the best way to enhance personal
skills
. To be extended, there are the situation
that
Change preposition
in
show examples
a boy who spend his free
time
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
paying attention to academic tends to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
their stressful
life
such
as depression and
burning
Wrong verb form
burn
show examples
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whereas
another boy with
well-balance
Correct your spelling
a balance
show examples
between studying and playing tends to
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
emotional development and enhance his learning
skills
. In the end, from my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
children
need to have their own free schedule to live their
life
. Playing is not
useless
Add an article
a useless
show examples
activity, it can
enhace
Correct your spelling
enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
life
skillls
Correct your spelling
skills
and develop learning
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
.
Submitted by lillymusic852 on

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Task Response
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed and provide a clear stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay in a clear and logical manner, using appropriate transition words and phrases.
Lexical Resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases to convey your ideas.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar, ensuring accurate use of tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence formation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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