IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

New stories on TV and in newpapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this

#stories #tv #newpapers #pictures #people
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In the modern world, the
photo
 in the newspaper,or the
photo
 on television are very affected by many
people
 and some think that image is more interesting than words. So, I will discuss
this
 statement from my point of view. To being with, many magazines use pictures on the first page to show customers about the news because
people
 like to see the
photo
Fix the agreement mistake
photos
show examples
 in the stories before they
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
read them.
And research
Correct word choice
Research
show examples
 in many nations show that if
people
 see image on paper, they will buy them because the colour of the
photo
 can affect their
feeling
Replace the word
feelings
show examples
 more than words
for example
, many companies have found that when they use big
photo
, many
people
 will buy their books and the number of
people
 who are watching their program increasing ,but if they prefer to use the big word, the percentage of the sale will be declined.
On the other hand
, the wording is very important because the wording tells us about stories like the topic and
it
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
happened in the news. So, I think that both wording and pictures are very important for newspapers and TV because the image affects
people
 on the feelings, but the wording tells about the statement. So, I think that both are very useful for the media.
To conclude
, I totally believe that media must have both good language and perfect photos because language is writing about the stories and
people
 are interested in news through photos.
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a clear opinion on the effectiveness of pictures compared to words.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of the essay by structuring it with a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied words to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Pay closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including verb tenses and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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