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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Educating the young generation on how to be a good citizen is a controversial topic. The majority of advocates strongly believe that
parents
Use synonyms
 ought to teach their offspring how to be good members of
society
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.
While
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 others argue that
school
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 is a suitable
place
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 to learn
this
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. I vehemently believe that families should be in charge
due to
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 the
first
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people
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 who communicate with them and the strong bonds between families.
To begin
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 with,
parents
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 are the
first
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people
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 who make a connection with babies.
As a result
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, they will be taught by their family since their burn which is an impeccable time for them to learn how to behave in
society
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. To cite an example,
parents
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 can teach their
children
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 how to be polite when they want to ask for something or when they need someone's help. To say
this
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 period of time is before
children
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's education period.
Also
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, a number of
people
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 strongly believe that
parents
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 are responsible
due to
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 the strong bond between them.
In other words
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, Tudlers are influenced by their family and whatever their
parents
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 say they believe it.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 are the most trusted
people
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 who can teach something to them so, if their family taught them how to be a good member of
society
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, they would follow their advice in their life.
On the other hand
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, some may claim that
school
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 is the best
place
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 for youngsters to be taught how to behave the manners in
society
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. They argue that a
school
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 is the
first
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place
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 that the youngster has a connection with
society
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 and the same peer as them.
Therefore
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, they can educated with their friends and classmates which brings joyful conditions for them to learn how to be good citizens.
However
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, they simply overlook
this
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 notion and do not pay attention to the valuable years that
children
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 spend with their families before they go to
school
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 which is a crucial time for them to learn social manners.
To sum up
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, a number of proponents and I firmly believe that family ought to teach their offspring how to be good members of
society
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due to
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 the strong bond between them and the
first
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people
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 that communicate with
children
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.
While
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 some assume
school
Use synonyms
 is the best
place
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 to educate youngsters.

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task response
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction that states your own opinion. This will help guide your essay and make it more focused.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure throughout the essay. Use paragraphs to organize your ideas and ensure coherence.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using more varied and precise words and phrases. This will make your essay more dynamic and engaging.
grammatical range
Work on improving your grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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