Some people think that certain criminals should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #community #work #bar

There is no doubt that these days, the crime rates have increased in our society for several reasons. Some people argue that the offender should be punished by asking them to perform tasks in the community

instead

of putting them in

prison

. In

this

essay, I totally disagree with

this

argument ,

also

I will provide some reasonable evidence to support my point of view . To start with,

prison

is used as a

punishment

for serious criminal activities. It is undeniable that most people fear losing their freedom. So applying

punishment

such

prison

would stop people from committing criminal acts.

For instance

, fines are used as

punishment

for minor offences

such

as car accidents.

While

capital

punishment

penalty for murder crimes.

Moreover

, criminals should be put behind bars to ensure the safety of other citizens.

Furthermore

, if authorities applied the appropriate laws, it would provide a sense of justice for victims and their families .

In addition

, the government

also

provides special rehabilitation programs for

prisoners

This

assists them in controlling their attitudes and makes them better citizens.

Moreover

prisoners

receive education about personal skills and specific job training.

However

, many

prisoners

tend to re-offend when they are released.

Therefore

, Rehabilitated

prisoners

are less likely to re-offend.

To sum up

, I do believe that

prison

is the best option for punishing criminals and helping them to be rehabilitated by using special methods .

However

,The government must ensure that steps are taken to prevent

this

phenomenon from deteriorating in future

Submitted by du.sg16 on Sat Oct 28 2023

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Task Response

Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain a consistent focus on your argument throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Consider using topic sentences and linking words to guide the reader through your arguments.

Lexical Resource

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and be more precise in your word choices to enhance the essay's overall quality.

Grammatical Range

Pay attention to sentence structures and avoid repetitive patterns. Vary your sentence lengths and types to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that certain criminals should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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