Some people think that certain criminals should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that these days, the crime rates have increased in our society for several reasons. Some people argue that the offender should be punished by asking them to perform tasks in the community
instead
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of putting them in
prison
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. In
this
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essay, I totally disagree with
this
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argument ,
also
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I will provide some reasonable evidence to support my point of view . To start with,
prison
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is used as a
punishment
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for serious criminal activities. It is undeniable that most people fear losing their freedom. So applying
punishment
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such
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as
prison
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would stop people from committing criminal acts.
For instance
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, fines are used as
punishment
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for minor offences
such
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as car accidents.
While
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capital
punishment
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penalty for murder crimes.
Moreover
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, criminals should be put behind bars to ensure the safety of other citizens.
Furthermore
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, if authorities applied the appropriate laws, it would provide a sense of justice for victims and their families .
In addition
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, the government
also
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provides special rehabilitation programs for
prisoners
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.
This
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assists them in controlling their attitudes and makes them better citizens.
Moreover
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,
prisoners
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receive education about personal skills and specific job training.
However
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, many
prisoners
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tend to re-offend when they are released.
Therefore
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, Rehabilitated
prisoners
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are less likely to re-offend.
To sum up
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, I do believe that
prison
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is the best option for punishing criminals and helping them to be rehabilitated by using special methods .
However
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,The government must ensure that steps are taken to prevent
this
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phenomenon from deteriorating in future
Submitted by du.sg16 on

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Task Response
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain a consistent focus on your argument throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Consider using topic sentences and linking words to guide the reader through your arguments.
Lexical Resource
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and be more precise in your word choices to enhance the essay's overall quality.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structures and avoid repetitive patterns. Vary your sentence lengths and types to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.
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