Some people believe that in order to reduce crimes, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences, while some people think there are other alternatives. Discuss both views and give your opinion

While
some individuals state longer
prison
sentences
are the best way to decline crimes, others believe that there are effective other methods for
this
matter. Two views will be discussed in the following paragraphs. Meanwhile, for several reasons I agree with the second side, which I explain. First of all,
prison
sentences
are the common
punishment
for
criminals
and offenders in every
society
.
In addition
, a lot of
people
think it is an effective and useful way to decrease crimes. Indeed, if we have a
society
without
crime
,
this
punishment
must be longer than now.
Moreover
, They believe that if
criminals
have be longer time far from
society
, they can not carry out any hurt to individuals.
For example
, in the case of drug offenders, if they have long time
prison
sentences
, they can not to
this
hazardous
crime
.
As a result
, fewer
people
are involved with dangerous materials. In the case of the second mind, all
crime
is not equal in amount and intensity
such
as fights and unintentional killer. So, these
criminals
can choose other alternatives
such
as financial
punishment
or making a school.
Furthermore
, some
people
believe that other ways are more effective for those who carry out
crime
and citizens. As for me, I have confirmed
this
view since it can help both change
criminals
’ mindsets and improve
society
.
For example
, in my city, a primary school has been made as
punishment
by
criminals
. In conclusion, there are two minds about performing
prison
sentences
. Many
people
want longer
prison
sentences
and others think that other methods are more effective to reduce crimes. Personally, I believe that the second idea is a better option than the first idea, as it is discussed above.
Submitted by minasarani64 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the two views and your opinion on the matter. Include a thesis statement that outlines the main points you will be discussing in the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will enhance the clarity and coherence of your essay.
lexical resource
Work on expanding your vocabulary and using a wider range of lexical resources. This will make your essay more sophisticated and impactful.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. There are some errors and lack of variety in sentence structures throughout the essay.
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