Some people believe that in order to reduce crimes, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences, while some people think there are other alternatives. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #crimes #prisoners #prison #sentences #alternatives

While

some individuals state longer

prison

sentences

are the best way to decline crimes, others believe that there are effective other methods for

this

matter. Two views will be discussed in the following paragraphs. Meanwhile, for several reasons I agree with the second side, which I explain. First of all,

prison

sentences

are the common

punishment

for

criminals

and offenders in every

society

In addition

, a lot of

people

think it is an effective and useful way to decrease crimes. Indeed, if we have a

society

without

crime

this

punishment

must be longer than now.

Moreover

, They believe that if

criminals

have be longer time far from

society

, they can not carry out any hurt to individuals.

For example

, in the case of drug offenders, if they have long time

prison

sentences

, they can not to

this

hazardous

crime

As a result

, fewer

people

are involved with dangerous materials. In the case of the second mind, all

crime

is not equal in amount and intensity

such

as fights and unintentional killer. So, these

criminals

can choose other alternatives

such

as financial

punishment

or making a school.

Furthermore

, some

people

believe that other ways are more effective for those who carry out

crime

and citizens. As for me, I have confirmed

this

view since it can help both change

criminals

’ mindsets and improve

society

For example

, in my city, a primary school has been made as

punishment

criminals

. In conclusion, there are two minds about performing

prison

sentences

. Many

people

want longer

prison

sentences

and others think that other methods are more effective to reduce crimes. Personally, I believe that the second idea is a better option than the first idea, as it is discussed above.

Submitted by minasarani64 on Sun Oct 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction clearly states the two views and your opinion on the matter. Include a thesis statement that outlines the main points you will be discussing in the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will enhance the clarity and coherence of your essay.

lexical resource

Work on expanding your vocabulary and using a wider range of lexical resources. This will make your essay more sophisticated and impactful.

grammatical range

Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. There are some errors and lack of variety in sentence structures throughout the essay.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that in order to reduce crimes, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences, while some people think there are other alternatives. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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