IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The crime rare nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#crime #technology
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In recent times the number of
crimes
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 has decreased. It is a highly debatable issue whether
technology
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 can prevent
crimes
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 , or whether it increases the risks. I agree with
this
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 statement about reducing the number of
crimes
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due to
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technology
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.
This
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 essay will outline the beneficial effects of
technology
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. Cameras play a vital role in protecting
people
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's lives. It promotes a sense of safety and comfort.
For example
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, there are modern versions of cameras in places like supermarkets, houses and in public places.
Thus
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,
people
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 can take their freedom to go to any place.
Furthermore
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, exposing
people
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 to social media potentially could make them aware of any danger. If
people
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 know the name or have a picture of any theft , they will help each other to return him to jail.
For instance
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, the result of conducted research at Glasgow University illustrates that 80% of thefts were restricted by social media.
In addition
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, there are many applications that facilitate our lives. A lot of
people
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 use VISA cards
instead
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 of holding money in their wallets. To illustrate, every shop has
this
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 method to facilitate
people
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's shopping.
As a result
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,
this
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 may help
people
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 to save money from loss or theft.
Moreover
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, with the advance of
technology
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people
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 often find opportunities to have a job. So,
this
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 contributes to the economic growth of the country , thereby reducing poverty and
crimes
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. In conclusion, the camera , social media, and modern devices like VISA are all enhanced to decrease
crimes
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.
Therefore
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, the idea of the fear of
technology
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 should be stopped. I totally agree that
technology
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 helps
people
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 in reducing
crimes
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. Both the government and the
people
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 should work together to prevent
this
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 problem.
Submitted by 13570581 on

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task achievement
To strengthen your task response, consider providing more detailed examples and elaborating on how technology directly leads to a reduction in crime rates. This can further clarify your argument, making it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that all sentences within a paragraph flow logically from one to the next. You may want to use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the connection between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent for maintaining a well-rounded structure.
task achievement
You tackled the task effectively by addressing the role of technology in reducing crime and provided reasons to support your agreement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance
  • deterrence effect
  • DNA testing
  • forensic analysis
  • conviction rates
  • digital footprints
  • cyber forensic techniques
  • real-time communication
  • law enforcement
  • socioeconomic factors
  • cybercrimes
  • advanced technology
  • crime prevention strategies
  • privacy concerns
  • ethical issues
  • digital divide
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