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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph depicts information on the cost of bananas in
Japan
,
France
,Germany and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 from 1996 to 2004.The unit is measured in USS per kilogram.
Overall
,it is evident from the chart that, there was an upward trend in all countries with
France
 being an exception.
To begin
 with,In 1996,
France
 and
Japan
 stood at 2 being the highest in that year.
However
,
while
Japan
 rose rapidly to 3 in 1997,
France
 evened out. Afterwards,they both witnessed
flunctuations
Correct your spelling
fluctuations
 and had a figure clash at 2 in 2003,before the cost of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bananas in
Japan
 increased steadily to 2.5,hitting the top of the diagram and
Japan
 remained unchanged from its initials at 2 by the end of the period.
Furthermore
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 had the lowest price in 1996
while
 Germany was slightly higher with
0.5
Correct article usage
a 0.5
show examples
 difference and there was an intersection in both at about 1% in 1999 and stood at about 1.5 and 1 in Germany and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 respectively by 2004.
Submitted by bumzyakins on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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