IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Due to the development and fast exapansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small business are unable to compete. Some people believe that the of small business will bring about the death of the local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In some countries , developed countries to be specific ,
supermarkets
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 are developing and
rapily exapanding
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rapidly expanding
 leaving small
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business
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businesses
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 with less potential to compete. A number of people have an assumption that local
communities
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 will not exit if small
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business
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businesses
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 are not actively operating. I disagree with the idea that
this
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 is the end of them. It is without doubt that large
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business
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businesses
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such
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 as
supermarkets
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 are expanding fast in several nations, and there are few benefits as to why they should substitute small
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business
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businesses
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. One of the main reason is that
supermarkets
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 can create employment opportunities
to
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for
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 individuals that
lives
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live
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 in these
communities
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 as
result
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a result
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 the local
communities
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 will continue to grow.
For example
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 ,
Supermarkets
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employee
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employ
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 more people
to
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apply
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work in different
department
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departments
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 in their stores
such
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 as cashiers, cooks ,
drivers
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and drivers
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 , just to
metion
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mention
 a few.
Moreover
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 ,
supermarket
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supermarkets
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 offer convenience and variety to consumers since they get products from different
manufactures
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manufacturers
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 and will be able to compare the prices before
buy
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buying
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 unlike buying
fom
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from
the
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a
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 small
business
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.
Although
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 bigger companies are more powerful in many
way
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ways
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, local
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business
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businesses
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 can still find a way to survive and the future of the local
communities
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 can not be determined by them.
To begin
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 with, there are some advantages for local
business
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 that can not
be replace
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be replaced
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,
for instance
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 , the relationship the owner of a small
business
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 have and the customers, their interaction
develop
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develops
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 into
friendship
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a friendship
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 that can't be
replace
Wrong verb form
replaced
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 which will make the customers always come back to support the
business
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due to
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 the
relatioship
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relationship
 they share.
Moreover
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, the culture of local
communities
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 is not just about commercial activities, is
the
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about the
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 value of supporting each other when in need.
Otherwise
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 , it would just be another market. In conclusion ,
supermarkets
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 contribute to the
declined
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decline
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 of small
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business
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businesses
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 but the effect of
supermarkets
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 on local
communities
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 can be mitigated and the
sprit
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spirit
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 of local
communities
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 can still thrive.

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logical structure
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the topic and provides a roadmap for your essay. Additionally, include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the coherence and cohesion of your essay. Use appropriate transition words and phrases to connect your ideas and ensure a smooth flow of information.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using more diverse and precise words. This will enhance the richness of your essay and make it more engaging for the reader.
grammatical range
Continue to work on your grammar accuracy. Review the rules of verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure to improve the overall clarity and coherence of your writing.
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