Due to the development and fast exapansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small business are unable to compete. Some people believe that the of small business will bring about the death of the local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some countries , developed countries to be specific ,
supermarkets
are developing and
rapily exapanding
Correct your spelling
rapidly expanding
leaving small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
with less potential to compete. A number of people have an assumption that local
communities
will not exit if small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
are not actively operating. I disagree with the idea that
this
is the end of them. It is without doubt that large
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
such
as
supermarkets
are expanding fast in several nations, and there are few benefits as to why they should substitute small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
. One of the main reason is that
supermarkets
can create employment opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
individuals that
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
in these
communities
as
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
the local
communities
will continue to grow.
For example
,
Supermarkets
employee
Replace the word
employ
show examples
more people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
work in different
department
Fix the agreement mistake
departments
show examples
in their stores
such
as cashiers, cooks ,
drivers
Correct word choice
and drivers
show examples
, just to
metion
Correct your spelling
mention
a few.
Moreover
,
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
offer convenience and variety to consumers since they get products from different
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
and will be able to compare the prices before
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
unlike buying
fom
Correct your spelling
from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
small
business
.
Although
bigger companies are more powerful in many
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
, local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
can still find a way to survive and the future of the local
communities
can not be determined by them.
To begin
with, there are some advantages for local
business
that can not
be replace
Change the verb form
be replaced
show examples
,
for instance
, the relationship the owner of a small
business
have and the customers, their interaction
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
into
friendship
Add an article
a friendship
show examples
that can't be
replace
Wrong verb form
replaced
show examples
which will make the customers always come back to support the
business
due to
the
relatioship
Correct your spelling
relationship
they share.
Moreover
, the culture of local
communities
is not just about commercial activities, is
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
value of supporting each other when in need.
Otherwise
, it would just be another market. In conclusion ,
supermarkets
contribute to the
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
of small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
but the effect of
supermarkets
on local
communities
can be mitigated and the
sprit
Correct your spelling
spirit
show examples
of local
communities
can still thrive.
Submitted by emission457 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the topic and provides a roadmap for your essay. Additionally, include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the coherence and cohesion of your essay. Use appropriate transition words and phrases to connect your ideas and ensure a smooth flow of information.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using more diverse and precise words. This will enhance the richness of your essay and make it more engaging for the reader.
grammatical range
Continue to work on your grammar accuracy. Review the rules of verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure to improve the overall clarity and coherence of your writing.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: