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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school,replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments.wHAT İS YOUR OPINİON ABOUT THİS?

#schools #tablets #laptop #computers #students #school #books #materials #exams #assignments #i̇s #opini̇on #thi̇s
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An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop
computers
 for students to
use
 in
school
,replacing
books
 and other printed materials like exams and assignments. Nowadays, students provide tablets and
computers
 during the lessons, some people claim that students should
use
books
 and other printed materials ;
however
, some people believe that they ought to
use
computers
 in their lessons. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 both pros and cons will be discussed. To kick things off, I deem that robotically devices and
computers
 have demonstrated a great deal of success and improvement over the years: they provide us significant opportunities in our
school
 lives.
For instance
 ;
while
 I can complete some job within 8 hours one computer can do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the same job within 8 seconds.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 they will improve
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
our writing, reading,
skills
Correct word choice
and skills
show examples
 too. Even though, there are some cons too, ıo
dı
Correct your spelling
do
 not think
computers
 will be more beneficial than
books
 . Especially ; in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education.
For instance
, you may have an internet problem,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means that you will not be able to keep track of your classes or you can get easily distracted.
In addition
 to
this
, when
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
use
computers
instead
 of
books
,
children’s
Change noun form
children
show examples
 become more and more addicted
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the internet or
computers
 so they cannot even socialize In conclusion, I
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
agree that during
school
 years we should
use
computers
 as much as necessary
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 we don’t want to be
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
addict
Replace the word
addicted
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 and
computerIf
Correct your spelling
computers
 we should
use
 them we must
use
 them pretty
enough
Rephrase
well
show examples
.
Submitted by haticecoza on

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task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the question prompt.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a more logical and coherent manner.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and try to use more precise and varied language.
grammatical range
Work on improving your grammar to avoid errors and produce more complex sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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