Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The public thinks that the governments have to make solutions to alleviate environmental pollution and house problems because those
complication
Change the determiner
complications
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trigger a lot of issues for citizens like having difficulty to persist in a normal lifestyle. I agree on
this
subject, so I will present my perspectives and conclude in
this
essay.
To begin
with, several experts argue that children who have diseases like atopy and respiratory
obstacle
Fix the agreement mistake
obstacles
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are getting increased by natural pollution and it will be treated by mitigating the problem.
For example
, when I was young, some friends had an atopy very commonly or respiratory issues.
Although
they could not see and find effective methods to treat
this
symptom in the capital, they got a cure by living in rural areas.
As a result
, the more governments make laws related to eco-friendly, the more the citizens will acquire an improved life atmosphere.
Additionally
, most young adults argue that there is a polarized house trouble between urban areas and the countryside because they have to settle in a city to earn money unconditionally.
However
, many adults suffer from housing
dilemma
Fix the agreement mistake
dilemmas
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due to
fluctuating real estate prices and poor house environments. Even if they hope to live in the countryside
such
as their hometown, they can not maintain that lifestyle because of financial issues.
Consequently
, to minimize
this
gap, the government should be aware of and make solutions to these controversies In conclusion, I believe that people, especially the young generations, have
complication
Fix the agreement mistake
complications
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like housing and
caused
Verb problem
apply
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environment that are addressed by the government and solved.
Submitted by daye9114 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and contributes to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction and summarize the main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and advanced language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
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