Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The public thinks that the governments have to make solutions to alleviate environmental pollution and house problems because those
complication
trigger a lot of issues for citizens like having difficulty to persist in a normal lifestyle. I agree on Change the determiner
complications
this
subject, so I will present my perspectives and conclude in this
essay.
To begin
with, several experts argue that children who have diseases like atopy and respiratory obstacle
are getting increased by natural pollution and it will be treated by mitigating the problem. Fix the agreement mistake
obstacles
For example
, when I was young, some friends had an atopy very commonly or respiratory issues. Although
they could not see and find effective methods to treat this
symptom in the capital, they got a cure by living in rural areas. As a result
, the more governments make laws related to eco-friendly, the more the citizens will acquire an improved life atmosphere.
Additionally
, most young adults argue that there is a polarized house trouble between urban areas and the countryside because they have to settle in a city to earn money unconditionally. However
, many adults suffer from housing dilemma
Fix the agreement mistake
dilemmas
due to
fluctuating real estate prices and poor house environments. Even if they hope to live in the countryside such
as their hometown, they can not maintain that lifestyle because of financial issues. Consequently
, to minimize this
gap, the government should be aware of and make solutions to these controversies
In conclusion, I believe that people, especially the young generations, have complication
like housing and Fix the agreement mistake
complications
caused
environment that are addressed by the government and solved.Verb problem
apply
Submitted by daye9114 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and contributes to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction and summarize the main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and advanced language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.