Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements. Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
have observed that it is perilous for young children to take part in the film industry because the superstars are eminent
due to
their money not success but
this
is partly true.
However
, working for many in the industry they are talented and achieve their goals so that the young generation follows them.
This
essay will elaborate
further
in the following paragraphs. A plethora of famous personalities are performing good work because they have been working for several years.
Besides
this
, they make quality work for their viewers to appreciate and promote them.
However
, they are making drama schools for young students to enrol in their institution and learn acting skills. To illustrate
this
, in my country, most of the young students go abroad for drama courses and after that, they perform on the television or cinema. Working in other countries they represented worldwide to their culture and traditions.
Consequently
, working in the Hollywood industry
as well as
opens the doors for above 18
people
jobs in different fashion industries.
In addition
, advertisement
also
plays a vital role in promoting famous stars because if they promote the item
people
will follow heroes.
Therefore
, acknowledging their field they organise
people
's choice awards every.
Moreover
, the national awards are
also
given by the authority on the national day. In a nutshell, the new generation believes that working in the production field may be risky because they think that it is a fantasy to earn money not achieve goals. I disagree with
this
statement because the artist can
also
play an important role in the public
due to
his successful life.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all parts of the essay address the prompt and fully respond to it.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing and connecting ideas in a logical and coherent manner throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand vocabulary range and use more varied and appropriate phrases and expressions.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • celebrities
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • dangerous
  • young people
  • idolized
  • aspire
  • materialistic
  • impressionable
  • personal growth
  • meaningful
  • goals
  • hard work
  • dedication
  • intellectual pursuits
  • positive impact
  • platform
  • parents
  • educators
  • role models
  • guiding
  • inspire
  • reach their full potential
What to do next:
Look at other essays: