Some people say that environmental pollution because of country development cannot be avoided.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays with the advancement of technology, most
countries
Use synonyms
are becoming more developed.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
progress has many benefits, it has some negative side effects, too. Some people say that environmental
pollution
Use synonyms
because of country
development
Use synonyms
cannot be avoided. I partly agree with them,
however
Linking Words
, it is not a fact and some
countries
Use synonyms
have some efforts on
this
Linking Words
issue. I agree with the individuals who believe that environmental
pollution
Use synonyms
cannot be avoided
due to
Linking Words
the country's
development
Use synonyms
. These days,
countries
Use synonyms
and cities a competing to develop more than each other, and it can notcannot be stopped because of the fast speed of technological improvement.
This
Linking Words
high speed of
development
Use synonyms
has (Subject-verb agreement) not only positive impacts but
also
Linking Words
negative effects. Some of these bad effects are air
pollution
Use synonyms
, bumper-to-bumper traffic jams, water
pollution
Use synonyms
, and many other things. Most
countries
Use synonyms
do not pay enough attention to these problems so that their society can/could encounter these issues.
For example
Linking Words
, the more the cities are developed, the more the population is settling there.
This
Linking Words
considerable population needs to transfer through the megacities,
therefore
Linking Words
lots of cars go to street for long hours and
this
Linking Words
causes heavy traffics and air
pollution
Use synonyms
. On the other side, I disagree with the idea that humans cannot stop environmental
pollution
Use synonyms
because of city
development
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if governments establish some environmental regulations, many pollutions can be stopped to improve.
For instance
Linking Words
, by some rules of not putting garbage into rivers and seas, the main water
pollution
Use synonyms
can be diminished. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
countries
Use synonyms
and cities are developing and it causes many air, water, and other environmental pollutions,
Submitted by anayasinwriting on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
You have provided a clear response to the task and have offered both sides of the argument. However, your essay could have included more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are present. However, you could have provided more supporting details and examples for your main points to improve cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, but you could vary your word choice and use more advanced vocabulary to enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but you could work on using a wider range of sentence structures and more complex grammatical constructions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: