Some countries are struggling with increasing crime rates. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #crime #rates #people #police #streets

A few states have the criminal activities increased and struggle to tackle it. Placing more officers on the streets to stay alert for twenty-four hours will not help the majority of

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

and there are several more crucial things that need to be done. The number of mass shootings in a few states escalated so quickly and

this

unlawful act can happen all of a sudden without prior notice or a sign.

Moreover

, even though a country places more

officer

Fix the agreement mistake

officers

show examples

on the street, not a single

police

could ever predict when

this

kind of crime may arise.

However

, making a new regulation and enactment of law have an important role in

this

one.

For example

, the government could restrict firearm ownership and only the army or

police

can have it.

Therefore

, we can limit gun usage and prevent mass shootings from happening, saving thousands of lives.

Also

, the citizens' participation in reducing crime is needed. Eventually, a neighbour will be the first who

Wrong verb form

show examples

aware of domestic violence that happens in one of the neighbourhoods. The government should encourage people to not be afraid to report if they ever have a suspicion towards the husband or wife to the

police

, as the

police

officer will make his identity confidential.

For instance

, if you ever hear a scream or things thrown up, it's better for all of us to immediately call 911 as we might have the chance to save the victim from injury, if any. If there is nothing actually happens, there is nothing to lose.

To sum up

, minimising the number of unlawful acts is the government's responsibility and our job as humankind. Making a suitable statute for recent crime really needs to be considered to decrease illegal doing and encourage our acquaintances to report any suspicion happening in the neighbourhood or a company, would be very helpful for those who need it.

Submitted by matcha on Wed Nov 01 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that relate back to the main thesis.

coherence cohesion

Provide a brief overview of the main points in the introduction and restate the thesis in the conclusion.

task achievement

Increase the number of specific examples and provide more detailed explanations to support your arguments.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and accurately.

grammatical range

Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to ensure clarity and coherence.

Your opinion

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

tackle crime
crime prevention
law enforcement
root causes
community involvement
cooperation
innovative technology
crime rates
social programs
education
employment
support

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Some countries are struggling with increasing crime rates. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Your opinion

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