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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

In the developed world ,average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.

#world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations
In the modern world ,the typical lifespan is increasing significantly.Many
people
 think that the trend is a positive development.
This
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 following essay will discuss the effect of
this
 positive trend
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and some of the ways that could be considered in addressing the problem. It is a fact that
people
 are living longer because of the advancement of technology.Despite the positive development,the ageing population has caused some
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 for
governments
.
Firstly
 if
a
Correct article usage
the
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 number of senior
people
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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governments
 will spend a lot of money
for
Change preposition
on
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 them.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
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 the growing number of
people
 will be caused
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 density problems.
As a result
,the demand will rise for accommodation and increase the
prise
Correct your spelling
price
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 of properties.
However
,there are some steps that
governments
 could consider to resolve the issue.One of the
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
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 is that
governments
 must extend pension
age
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
.Many countries have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 standard pension
age
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
 of 55 years old,and they must extend the
age
into
Change preposition
to
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 60 or 65 years.Because the old
people
 look still in a healthy and prime condition.
With
Change preposition
In
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this
 way,
governments
' spending will reduce for the retired
people
.
To conclude
,the world
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 developing rapidly in the
last
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
few years,money
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 being spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
people
 by
governments
 and the
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 of
people
 have caused
problem
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
.
However
,
this
 situation could be solved by
governments
.
Submitted by saydullayevkozim920 on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the essay prompt are addressed and fully developed.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas logically and provide clear transitions between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand vocabulary and use more varied and precise language.
grammatical range
Improve sentence structure and grammar usage.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • average life expectancy
  • developed world
  • increase
  • individuals
  • society
  • personal goals
  • ambitions
  • quality of life
  • leisure
  • recreation
  • healthcare costs
  • challenges
  • healthcare system
  • ageing population
  • shortage
  • available workers
  • economy
  • retirement planning
  • healthy lifestyles
  • investing
  • social support systems
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