IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young people living in cities are facing with? Give solutions to these problems.

#cities #world #people
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The fact that major
cities
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 are growing fast is becoming more widespread in many parts of the world. There are several problems caused that young
people
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 living in
cities
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 are facing and various solutions could be taken to improve the situation. There are
variety
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a variety
show examples
 of different problems of
this
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 phenomenon.
To begin
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 with, young
people
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 living
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cities
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in cities
show examples
 have to compete strongly with
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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people
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.
This
Linking Words
 means that the
companies
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requires
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require
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 their
employer
Replace the word
employees
show examples
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
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high
Correct article usage
a high
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 ability to work better and can bring the most profits for
company
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the company
a company
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,
this
Linking Words
lead
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leads
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 to their staff working not good will
be dismiss
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be dismissed
show examples
. Another significant problem to mention is
that
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apply
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the high rate
unemployment
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of unemployment
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 of young
peole
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people
 in the major
cities
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 when they graduate. In fact,
almost
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most
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 students have a lot of difficulties when
seek
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seeking
show examples
jobs
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 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
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requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
 the employer
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
 1 year or 2
years
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years'
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 experience
about
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in
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
lead
Verb problem
apply
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to
just
Rephrase
only
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 some
people
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 can
achive
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achieve
. Despite
of
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apply
show examples
these circumstances, there are various measures that
companies
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 and individuals could take to solve the problems.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a simple solution would
be use
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be used
show examples
 by individuals to improve
situation
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the situation
show examples
is
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if
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 they need to
learning
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learn
show examples
 more than about knowledge of their
jobs
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 and trying use new methods to work quickly and effectively. The second measure would be for
companies
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 is give a chance for
internship
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an internship
the internship
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 when
hire
Wrong verb form
hired
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to
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so
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 they can show ability about their
jobs
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 and help them contribute development of
company
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the company
show examples
. In conclusion, the problem of
the
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apply
show examples
young
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 in major
cities
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 is unlikely to be entirely eliminated in the short term.
Howerver
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However
, various measures can be taken to tackle the issue to reduce the impact it is having on the current society.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Work on providing a clear introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay. Make sure to present a strong thesis statement in the introduction.
Supporting Ideas
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a different aspect of the problems faced by young people in cities and the solutions. Develop each point with specific examples and supporting details to make your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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