IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young people living in cities are facing with? Give solutions to these problems.

#cities #world #people
The fact that major
cities
 are growing fast is becoming more widespread in many parts of the world. There are several problems caused that young
people
 living in
cities
 are facing and various solutions could be taken to improve the situation. There are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of different problems of
this
 phenomenon.
To begin
 with, young
people
 living
cities
Change preposition
in cities
show examples
 have to compete strongly with
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
.
This
 means that the
companies
requires
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require
show examples
 their
employer
Replace the word
employees
show examples
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 ability to work better and can bring the most profits for
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
,
this
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to their staff working not good will
be dismiss
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be dismissed
show examples
. Another significant problem to mention is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the high rate
unemployment
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of unemployment
show examples
 of young
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 in the major
cities
 when they graduate. In fact,
almost
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 students have a lot of difficulties when
seek
Change the verb form
seeking
show examples
jobs
 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
 the employer
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
 1 year or 2
years
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years'
show examples
 experience
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
jobs
lead
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to
just
Rephrase
only
show examples
 some
people
 can
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
. Despite
of
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apply
show examples
these circumstances, there are various measures that
companies
 and individuals could take to solve the problems.
Firstly
, a simple solution would
be use
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be used
show examples
 by individuals to improve
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
 they need to
learning
Change the verb
learn
show examples
 more than about knowledge of their
jobs
 and trying use new methods to work quickly and effectively. The second measure would be for
companies
 is give a chance for
internship
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an internship
the internship
show examples
 when
hire
Wrong verb form
hired
show examples
to
Correct word choice
so
show examples
 they can show ability about their
jobs
 and help them contribute development of
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
. In conclusion, the problem of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 in major
cities
 is unlikely to be entirely eliminated in the short term.
Howerver
Correct your spelling
However
, various measures can be taken to tackle the issue to reduce the impact it is having on the current society.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Work on providing a clear introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay. Make sure to present a strong thesis statement in the introduction.
Supporting Ideas
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a different aspect of the problems faced by young people in cities and the solutions. Develop each point with specific examples and supporting details to make your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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