Advertisements are good or bad for the society. You should spend 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that advertisements are good for the society whereas others oppose this view.Discuss both the views and give your opinion

At the present moment, people are bombarded with a torrent of advertisements wherever they go.
While
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some opine that mass media can be really beneficial for the community, others completely disagree with
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point of view.
In
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From
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my perspective,
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raising public awareness through media and online platforms goes a long way, it does not necessarily mean it has no disadvantages. On the one hand, it plays a crucial role in increasing global awareness and appreciation. To clarify, Apple annually holds a convention discussing different features of its products. In
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way, customers can make intelligent choices because they are aware enough of the quality of the products they want to buy.
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, Apple is one of the most well-liked companies all across the world.
On the other hand
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, businesses use tricky and flashy slogans.
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, information is often misinformation.
For example
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, some electronic cigarette factories exploit sexy women and celebrities to tempt teenagers to buy their products, which is not based on humanity at all.
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, most of them encourage the culture of overconsumption. In fact, they persuade individuals to buy more than they need, which can pose a threat not only to their mental health but
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to the environment. Considering my old sister in
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case, she is a fashion victim, and she is addicted to spending vast money on something that goes viral on social media.
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, she is struggling with deep depression now. In conclusion,
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advertisement makes a valuable contribution to increasing perception among dwellers, it can be really tricky in some aspects. I think its cons outweigh the pros, and everybody should be aware of some tricky slogans in the world of marketing.

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task response
Make the answer fit the task better by giving more clear and deeper facts to show both sides. Extend each main idea with more detail.
coherence
Make the link between ideas clear. Use simple connect words like first, then, also, but, and finally. Put clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph.
language
Use simple words and fix small grammar slips. Avoid strange phrases and keep sentences short.
task response
Clear view and a direct answer to the task.
coherence
Structure shows the form of intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
content
Some good examples and voice of the writer.
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