Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The creation of
relationships
has revolutionized, thanks to state-of-the-art technology. It is asserted that friendships that are made through virtual platforms are less valuable than face-to-face methods.I firmly agree with this
notion since not only would not individuals be able to become familiar with other’s personality traits ,but also
there is the prospect of online phishing in this
case.However
, under no circumstances should the value of familiarity with foreign culture, which is made through this
approach, be overlooked.
To begin
with,people
’s behaviour and reaction in face-to-face communication reveals their intrinsic traits undeniably .That is
to say, only after friends interact eye-to-eye with each other can they understand their partner’s character deeply. If they have a background familiarity with their friend’s personality, they may get along with
their negative aspects more easily.For example
, in this
contemporary era, a large number of young people
have long-distance relationships
while
never have they met each other. A body of research supports the notion that this
type of relationship will not experience strong bonds since there are likely to be many conflicts between partners.Consequently
, the less face-to-face meetings,the less deep understanding of other’s personality.
What is more,why this
phenomenon is less meaningful is due to
the threat of online fraud.In other words
,societies can not rely on others in virtual reality as they do not know them as well. As long as we believe in those whom we do not know well, they might abuse our trust.For instance
, many bank accounts have been hacked by online friends as people
created video or phone calls with someone whom they did not know.Hence
,this
attitude results in a reduction of
the value of online friendships.
Change preposition
in
On the other hand
,social media web pages promote social interactions with foreign people
.This
means, that international friendships,which is created online, may give people
an opportunity to become aware of other countries' culture.Nevertheless
, this
information can be gained by watching movies.
To sum up
,Whether online relationships
are as meaningful as face-to-face relationships
or not is a controversial theory.I strongly agree with this
assertion since although
it facilitates societies to acquire information about foreign cultures, it might lead to online disasters and a lack of understanding of friend’s behaviour.Submitted by mirhashemim7 on
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task response
The essay provides a clear response to the given prompt by expressing a strong agreement with the notion that online friendships are less meaningful than face-to-face interactions. However, there is room for improvement in developing clear and comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a generally logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there is a need for better organization of ideas within paragraphs and stronger topic sentence development.
lexical resource
The essay displays an adequate range of vocabulary and uses appropriate terminology related to the topic. However, there is room for improvement in the precision and variety of vocabulary choices.
grammatical range
The essay exhibits a fair range of sentence structures and generally accurate grammar usage. However, there are some errors in sentence formation and punctuation that could be improved.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
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