IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, buying a car rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #car #people #be #case #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, buying a
car
Use synonyms
 is much more important than renting
one
Use synonyms
 in some countries.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the causes
as well as
Linking Words
 evaluate
this
Linking Words
 situation. There are a variety of different causes for
this
Linking Words
 case.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, cars are the main
transport
Use synonyms
 in almost every western country so buying a
car
Use synonyms
 will bring out more amenities for people. If you have your own
car
Use synonyms
, you can easily control your daily routine.
For example
Linking Words
, you have 2 courses at 7.00 AM and your rented
car
Use synonyms
 is taken back for some reason and you have to walk to school or use a transportation app which is really annoying and inconsistent.
Secondly
Linking Words
, buying a
car
Use synonyms
 is more adorable than renting
one
Use synonyms
. With your own
car
Use synonyms
, you just have to pay for the
car
Use synonyms
 itself and some kind of taxes which is kinda low but with renting a
car
Use synonyms
, there are many things that make you worried about like the protection of the
car
Use synonyms
 like it's not your
car
Use synonyms
 so you can't decide about it and have to have a responsibility to take care of the thing that doesn't belong to you which makes no sense. In my opinion, the value of having your own
car
Use synonyms
 outweighs the value of renting
one
Use synonyms
 so it is a positive situation. The first benefit that we can easily see is the freedom that we get from owning a
car
Use synonyms
 you don't have to worry about transportation when you have an unscheduled appointment or you want to have a trip at the weekend. A second benefit is for the government. When everyone has their own
car
Use synonyms
, the government can adjust and control the population of
transport
Use synonyms
 more effectively.
For example
Linking Words
, if cars become a usual thing that everyone has, there are multi
transport
Use synonyms
 companies will close down which is really supportive for the government because it reduces the number of
transport
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, there are several logical reasons why buying a
car
Use synonyms
 is more important than renting
one
Use synonyms
. Despite a few drawbacks, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 situation brings out more positive effects for the world.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the prompt and provides reasons why buying a car is important in some countries. However, some of the ideas lack clarity and could be supported with more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the main points could be developed and supported more effectively throughout the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some appropriate collocations. However, there is room for improvement in terms of using more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance the essay.
grammatical range
Overall, the essay shows good control of grammar and sentence structures. However, there are some errors and inconsistencies that could be improved to enhance clarity and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: