IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that children should attend extra classes after school while some disagree. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #classes #school #disagree
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Over the years, extra
lessons
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 become popular, It is debatable whether a child should go for
lessons
Use synonyms
 after
school
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 or not. There are
pro
Fix the agreement mistake
pros
show examples
 and cons for both sides. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will outline the benefits and drawbacks
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 extra classes. On one hand, it is highly beneficial for pupils to go for extra
lessons
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 after
school
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,
this
Linking Words
 is because teachers do not cover everything in
school
Use synonyms
 as they follow the syllabus from
Add an article
the department
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department
Capitalize word
Department
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 of
education
Capitalize word
Education
show examples
, there is
also
Linking Words
 limited time
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is more rewarding to go for
lessons
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 as one will receive personalised attention or service. There is a small group compared to the one from
school
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 and at
school
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 it can be difficult for all students to get the
teachers
Change noun form
teacher's
show examples
 attention,
also
Linking Words
 If there
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 something which was unclear at
school
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 your private tutor will help you with that, they can
also
Linking Words
 quickly notice the areas you struggle with.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is unnecessary for pupils to go sit for other
lessons
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,
this
Linking Words
 promotes laziness, students should be able to study what they learnt at
school
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 on their own. They have to put in extra effort
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and learn to be independent.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the costs will be too much for the parents or guardian
To conclude
Linking Words
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
, I believe a child's potential should determine if they should go for extra classes or not, some kids are smart
however
Linking Words
 there are some kids who need help so that they achieve the desired grades at
school
Use synonyms
Submitted by chikashabetty on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and use appropriate linking words and phrases to connect the ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction and summarize the main points in the conclusion.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas and avoid repetitive language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure that sentences are grammatically correct and varied.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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