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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the amounts spent on cloths on the internet in the USA and japan between 1999 and 2003

The graph below shows the amounts spent on cloths on the internet in the USA and japan between 1999 and 2003
The line graph depicts the numbers spent on clothes on the Internet in the USA and
Japan
Use synonyms
 from 1999 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that both countries spent money on the Internet equally.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Japan
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 and the USA showed upward trends throughout the period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
Japan
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, it accounted for 10 million and rose progressively to approximately 12 between 2000 and 2001.
However
Linking Words
, it dropped marginally to under 5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2002 before going up to over 15
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of 2002.
Consequently
Linking Words
, money spent in
Japan
Use synonyms
 increased dramatically to 20 in the final years. With regards to the USA, it obtained roughly 5 million and in 2000 it went up to 10 which is after a fall to 8 in 2001Ultimately, in 2002 it showed a significant increase to 20 million in 2003 and stayed constant in the final years .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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