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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some believe that more academic subjects such as chemistry, physics and history should be taught in schools, while others believe that students will derive more benefit from studying practical subjects, such as motor mechanics and cooking. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion with relevant examples.

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In
this
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 essay, I will discuss arguments from both sides before stating why I strongly advocate that practical subjects are way more beneficial for students than academic subjects. A more nuanced picture is necessary.
To begin
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 with, proponents of academic modules
such
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 as chemistry, physics, and history should be taught in schools, as they allow schoolchildren to think logically and make sense of the world that we are living in.
For instance
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, academic modules increase critical thinking and the urge to ask questions about how things work around us. Chemistry helps us understand through what method chemical reactions take place.
Additionally
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, physics helps us to understand the science behind every moving object, yet at the same time, history helps us to understand what events took place in the past.
On the contrary
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, proponents of practical courses
such
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 as motor mechanics and cooking are crucial for schoolchildren and should be compulsory for every scholar. Real-world courses encourage them to practice practical thinking, which should be prioritized because they prepare them for the real world.
For instance
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, many individuals are not aware of how to cook, knowledge related to motor mechanics, how to pay their bills, or handle their taxes, and their finances. Schools should focus on these things, as it will benefit them in the growing stage.
To conclude
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, from the arguments and examples given, I firmly believe that scholarly concepts should be taught, but to a certain extent, and
then
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 students should be allowed to choose whether they want to continue those concepts or not. But these real-world concepts should be compulsory for every scholar as they prepare them for the real functional world and make them independent.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to maintain a seamless flow.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more concrete.
task achievement
Clarify some parts of the argument to make them more precise. For example, when explaining the benefits of academic subjects, provide more direct links to how they foster critical thinking in real-life scenarios.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the intent of the essay and sets up the discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
Both sides of the argument are discussed thoroughly, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion appropriately summarizes the essay and provides a clear stance on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic subjects
  • practical subjects
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • holistic education
  • curriculum
  • real-life challenges
  • job opportunities
  • foundations
  • professions
  • balanced approach
  • job market
  • demand
  • derive benefit
  • preparation
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