Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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At present, even though businesses have many competitors, an array of masses believe that marketing via ads can
make
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encourage
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people
encouraged
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apply
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to purchase items,
hence
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it is doing well for them
while
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another part of the society argues that
due to
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generalization
Correct article usage
the generalization
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of
adverstising
Correct your spelling
advertising
, it does not catch the eyes to get things.
However
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, I strongly opine,
making
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that making
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ads and promoting can
make
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put
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entrepreneurs on top of
sky
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the sky
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because individuals easily get attracted, so it is examined in
this
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essay. To commence with, there are specialized groups of qualified
proffesionals
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professionals
who are hired by companies to prepare
attarctive
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attractive
strategies through posters, banners, television commercials, etc in order to motivate society to purchase their products.
For instance
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, if a television commercial
broadcasts
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is broadcast
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on a popular channel in a peak hour,
so that
Correct word choice
apply
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it would make more audience
to
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apply
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buy it.
Moreover
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, with the technology development, most
of
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apply
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clothing stores
has
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have
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made their marketing by posting attractive photoshoots on social media.
In contrast
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, even
though
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apply
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with the presence of a lot of
advertisments
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advertisements
for
peoples
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people's
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vision, the most
eye catching
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eye-catching
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posts always inspire viewers to buy them.
For example
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, when scrolling downwards on Facebook, many sponsored
advertisments
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advertisements
advertisement
appears
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appear
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, but whenever there is an attractive commercial, we
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tend
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tends
Add the particle
tends to
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click and get information
of
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about
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the item and
then
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most probably it is
then
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bought.
Additionally
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, humans have natural
insticts
Correct your spelling
instincts
to try things which are visually more appealing, so better visualizing commercials always grab the interest of the community to get those items.
Therefore
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, in spite of the huge number of promotions available, still companies make money by catching
peoples
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people's
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instincts. In summary, even though there are loads of industries today
whom
Correct pronoun usage
that
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marketing
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market
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their products by impressing common
persons
Replace the word
people
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, still they can achieve their targets because of technical developments. Having said that, I strongly believe, people are still interested
of
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in
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buying their needs which they see
by
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through
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promotions,
ultimately
Rephrase
apply
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it provides
flush
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a flush
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of success to entrepreneurs.
Submitted by tlakshani005 on

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task response
Your introduction needs to be more focused and clearly state both views that you will discuss in your essay.
coherence cohesion
You should use transition words and phrases to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
lexical resource
You need to work on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise and varied vocabulary.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vary your sentence structures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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