Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

At present, even though businesses have many competitors, an array of masses believe that marketing via ads can
make
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encourage
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people
encouraged
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apply
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to purchase items,
hence
it is doing well for them
while
another part of the society argues that
due to
generalization
Correct article usage
the generalization
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of
adverstising
Correct your spelling
advertising
, it does not catch the eyes to get things.
However
, I strongly opine,
making
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that making
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ads and promoting can
make
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put
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entrepreneurs on top of
sky
Add an article
the sky
show examples
because individuals easily get attracted, so it is examined in
this
essay. To commence with, there are specialized groups of qualified
proffesionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
who are hired by companies to prepare
attarctive
Correct your spelling
attractive
strategies through posters, banners, television commercials, etc in order to motivate society to purchase their products.
For instance
, if a television commercial
broadcasts
Wrong verb form
is broadcast
show examples
on a popular channel in a peak hour,
so that
Correct word choice
apply
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it would make more audience
to
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apply
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buy it.
Moreover
, with the technology development, most
of
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apply
show examples
clothing stores
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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made their marketing by posting attractive photoshoots on social media.
In contrast
, even
though
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apply
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with the presence of a lot of
advertisments
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advertisements
for
peoples
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people's
show examples
vision, the most
eye catching
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eye-catching
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posts always inspire viewers to buy them.
For example
, when scrolling downwards on Facebook, many sponsored
advertisments
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advertisements
advertisement
appears
Correct subject-verb agreement
appear
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, but whenever there is an attractive commercial, we
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tend
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tends
Add the particle
tends to
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click and get information
of
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about
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the item and
then
most probably it is
then
bought.
Additionally
, humans have natural
insticts
Correct your spelling
instincts
to try things which are visually more appealing, so better visualizing commercials always grab the interest of the community to get those items.
Therefore
, in spite of the huge number of promotions available, still companies make money by catching
peoples
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people's
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instincts. In summary, even though there are loads of industries today
whom
Correct pronoun usage
that
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marketing
Wrong verb form
market
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their products by impressing common
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
, still they can achieve their targets because of technical developments. Having said that, I strongly believe, people are still interested
of
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in
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buying their needs which they see
by
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through
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promotions,
ultimately
Rephrase
apply
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it provides
flush
Add an article
a flush
show examples
of success to entrepreneurs.
Submitted by tlakshani005 on

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task response
Your introduction needs to be more focused and clearly state both views that you will discuss in your essay.
coherence cohesion
You should use transition words and phrases to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
lexical resource
You need to work on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise and varied vocabulary.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vary your sentence structures.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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