IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The only reason for people working hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#reason #people #money
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In
this
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 day and age, the purpose of working has been a controversial topic. It is commonly said that
people
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 go to
work
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 daily because they solely want to have money to live by.
However
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, I completely disagree with
this
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 belief.
This
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 essay below will provide reasons for my disapproval.
Firstly
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, a person's career choice can result from his personal preference. In fact, some jobs do not offer a high salary
but
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apply
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yet there are still many
people
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 working in those areas.
For instance
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, it is usually believed that artists do not make a lot of money unless their paintings become globally recognised. Van Gogh, to be more specific, had to live a miserable life when his
work
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 was still unknown to the public. Yet, he did not change his job and was still very persistent in drawing because it was his favourite.
This
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 is an excellent example to prove that
people
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work
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 hard, rather than to become wealthy, to fulfil their gratification.
Secondly
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, the need for respect and success can lead to the hard
work
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 of some
people
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. It means that when you are a senior worker, other
collegues
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colleagues
colleges
 have the proclivity
for looking
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to look
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 up to you.
For example
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, since you have been used to doing the same tasks, you can meet the employer's demands more quickly and effectively;
therefore
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, new workers will come to you and seek
for
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apply
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advice. In
this
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 case, the feeling of being admired is instilled and
thus
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, you are trying to perform better at
work
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 gradually.
This
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 demonstrates that
people
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 become hard-working as they want to receive more compliments and admiration
instead
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 of earning money.
To sum up
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, the common belief that
every
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everyone
each
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 goes to
work
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 just because they want to get paid is not always true. In my view, I strongly disagree with
such
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 a notion, as I believe
people
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 can choose a certain career as they enjoy doing it or simply because they want to feel needed and respected at
work
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.
Submitted by phamngoclannhu.97 on

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task response
Provide a clear and concise introduction that directly addresses the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is connected to the main topic and provides sufficient supporting details.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay's overall quality.
grammatical range
Pay more attention to grammatical accuracy, especially in sentence structures, subject-verb agreement, and verb tenses.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Monetary gain
  • Passion-driven
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Career progression
  • Professional development
  • Work-life balance
  • Job satisfaction
  • Societal expectations
  • Cultural values
  • Altruism
  • Positive impact
  • Intrinsic motivation
  • Extrinsic motivation
  • Internal rewards
  • Maslow's hierarchy of needs
  • Psychological aspects
  • Motivational factors
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