Governments should ban dangerous sports. Others think that people should have the freedom to do any sport activity. Discuss both side and give your opinion

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Governments are playing a big part in many sections of a nation. One of them is about sport.
While
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there is a statement saying that Governments should ban extreme
sports
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, I side with those who feel that folks should not restricted from playing any
sports
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activity. On the one hand, it could argued that
humans
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should not do dangerous
sports
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because it can cause two negative effects.
Firstly
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, when they are doing extreme
sports
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, it can enhance the risk of getting injured. When individuals are playing a road race ,
for example
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, the chance of a crash accident increases as they drive their motorcycle at high speed.
Secondly
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, some of the extreme
sports
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do not have a
number
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of certificate instructors.
Consequently
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, people who do those
sports
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hardly do that in the correct way.
On the other hand
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, I believe that those who think that
humans
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should have the freedom to do any
sports
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activity for two main reasons.
To begin
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with, if people do a dangerous sport, it can increase the
number
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of adrenaline in their bodies. Because the
number
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of adrenaline is up, individuals will earn some happiness than doing a usual game.
For instance
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, after playing mixed martial arts, the stress level of individuals will decrease as they can unwind by punching the board when they play that game.
Then
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, some extreme
sports
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can make the connection between
humans
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and nature as many of them are outdoor activities. To explain
this
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, when folks do paragliding, they can feel fresh air.
Furthermore
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, they can look up the town from the sky. In conclusion,
while
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most extreme
sports
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can cause
humans
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to get injured, they can increase the
number
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of adrenaline in people's bodies.
Therefore
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, on balance, I remain firmly convinced that the idea of banning extreme
sports
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should be abolished.

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task achievement
Ensure the essay addresses all parts of the task clearly. Avoid minor inaccuracies to maintain clarity.
coherence cohesion
Enhance cohesion by using more diverse linking words and phrases, and ensure all ideas are logically connected.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen support for main points with detailed and specific examples to make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges both perspectives and provides a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and adequately summarize the main points.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
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