IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will no longer be necessary because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #museums #art #galleries #objects #works #computer
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the contemporary era, people can
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
 get a lot of information about
variabe
Correct your spelling
various
 things through their computers
while
Linking Words
setting
Correct your spelling
sitting
show examples
 on their chairs, One of these things
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 historical objects that are usually seen at museums or art galleries. Some claim that we don't need
do
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 visit them by ourselves since we have the virtual alternative. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
, I will elaborate on my perspective in the next paragraphs. Visiting
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
 museums may be
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
intresting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 and unique journey,
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
you can watch special things that you do not see everywhere. Even though we can see the same items
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our computers by searching the net, being there by ourselves is totally different. The experience of watching
that items
Change the determiner
that item
those items
show examples
 closely and sometimes touching them when
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
possible makes the option of being there very special.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, not everybody is able to reach every place around the world in order to visit different
galeries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 which may be far and
expernsive
Correct your spelling
expensive
 at the same time. So the option of seeing historical objects and art's
work
Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
 may be available via the web without any need to travel or pay
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money for the visit.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I think that arriving
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 galleries and seeing
histoical
Correct your spelling
historical
 items there is much more
excsiting
Correct your spelling
exciting
 than simply seeing pictures or even doing a virtual around. But at the same time,
this
Linking Words
 would be a not bad option for people who are not able to reach physically to these places.
Submitted by leenaasalee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to fully address the given task and provide a clear opinion. Also, provide a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas logically and coherently. Use paragraphs to separate different points and provide clear topic sentences.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases. Also, pay attention to word choice and avoid repetitive language.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and grammar. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence construction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual
  • digital
  • online
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • cultural heritage
  • physical experience
  • immersion
  • local tourism
  • economy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: