IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Art classes ,such as painting and drawing,are as important to a child's development as other subjects,so it should be compulsory in high school.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#art #classes #child #development #subjects #school
Art movements
such
 as drawing and painting have an important role in the development of children,so they must be added in high
school
.I totally agree with
this
 statement and I will highlight the reason why in the following essay. It must be understood that the artistry should be compulsory in high
school
.It means it has the same role as the main subjects like Mathematics,Literature, Physics,Chemistry and so on.
Therefore
, improves the
ability
 of art for each person.
For example
,if you want to design the agriculture or buy the facilities for your house,you have to have knowledge about the structure in order to make the house good looking. Another factor that painting and drawing should be added into the main subject
as well as
had
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 to compete like other subjects is having an
ability
 to creative.
In other words
,respect the importance of each subject in order to various the major of the university.
Consequently
, creates more jobs and improves the demand for absent in the world for the job.
For instance
,if all people study the main subjects are math,literature,and English,they will not have the soft skills
as well as
 the
ability
 of creative.Or they can not use their creativity
as well as
 their imagination.
However
,some people believe that there is no need to add in the high
school
 because juniors have to work hard to pass the final exam,
moreover
,they have to hard-working to do homework
as well as
 prepare for their crucial exam.But I think that we should add drawing and painting in the high
school
 to make the students relax in order to continue studying. In conclusion,I believe that each subject has various roles even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art or music.It helps people grow the
ability
 of creative,
hence
, affects the child’s development.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar and Vocabulary
Ensure that you carefully proofread your essay to catch and correct minor grammatical mistakes and inappropriate word choices, as these can affect clarity.
Task Achievement
While you present solid reasons in support of your viewpoint, try to provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between your ideas. Use linking words and phrases to ensure that your essay reads smoothly from start to finish.
Task Achievement
The essay provides clear reasons why art should be compulsory in high school, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay's main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure with distinct paragraphs focusing on specific points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Creativity
  • Imagination
  • Innovation
  • Emotional expression
  • Mental well-being
  • Cognitive abilities
  • Fine motor skills
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Cultural awareness
  • Empathy
  • Critical thinking
  • Observational skills
  • Compulsory
  • High school
  • Development
  • Outlet for stress
  • Global awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: