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Band 6.5

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching another planet to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #earth #people #money #planet
Over time living on
Earth
 will become more complicated. It is often said that the government should invest more money in the research of other planets for living. Personally, I think that the most important goal for humanity nowadays should be maintaining a good state of our
planet
 so there will be no need to search for
the
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other planets to live on, at least in the near future.
However
, regarding the distant future, it would be better to spend some budget on space investigation. A good reason to try our best to keep
Earth
 in
a
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good condition is that we have everything
that is
 required for living here: fresh water, temperature of the surface, appropriate land for growing food and a large amount of other resources. Mankind just should keep in mind that in order to have access to all of these in the future, it is vital to spend more money on projects that help to save our
planet
 from
the
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disaster, on the grounds that it is much easier to clean the mess that humanity has been causing on
Earth
 for centuries, rather than look for other planets where we can move to.
On the other hand
, in the long
term
Add a comma
term,
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 it will be better to consider the fact that our
planet
 is not infinite and sooner or later humanity will have to move somewhere else.
Therefore
, investing more money in space research will be a wonderful choice. If we find another
planet
 to live on, there will be no need to worry about our finite resources and other environmental problems.
To conclude
, I am of the opinion that spending the budget on maintaining the good condition of
Earth
 is a must.
Nevertheless
, it is vital to invest in space investigation as well.
Submitted by miaqu138 on

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task response
Provide a clearer stance on the topic by using stronger language to express your agreement or disagreement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and effective logical flow throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Develop more complex sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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