Most people accept that we now love in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial.
When the
world
boundary is reduced, people
of the world
can become acquainted. This
can bring the world
together to create the world
population as the world
becomes one
. This
creates globalisation
which is accepted by most but not by some. Personally, this
is a positive for everyone who lives in the present time. There are reasons to support the claim.
To start with. The obvious advantage of globalisation
is that people
can thrive to survive in the hard conditions when they are familiar with one
another. Globalisation
helps prepare people
to adapt to a changing environment.This
can benefit them when they want to migrate to another country. They would not spend time on
adapting to the new environment. Change preposition
apply
Also
, the host country can benefit from globalisation
when they are in need of more population.
Moreover
, another impact of globalisation
on the world
is that people
will become more harmonious as people
will help each other more. Since the world
is globalised, the language barrier will be lessened. In consequence, it will become less complex for people
to communicate and help each other to finish the tasks.
In conclusion, despite the fact that some people
do not agree with globalisation
, most people
see this
as an advantage of the people
in the modern world
. As people
have their own free will, they live and move to
anywhere they prefer. Change preposition
apply
Globalisation
really helps this
happen. People
will become one
global population, and globalisation
can help mitigate the conflicts that may occur due to
different perspectives when they have to live together in one
place.Submitted by dondollaraus on
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction lacks clarity and does not clearly state your position on whether globalization is beneficial or not. Make sure to clearly state your position and provide an overview of the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is too brief and does not effectively summarize your main points. Provide a clear summary of your main arguments and restate your position on the topic.
task achievement
You have effectively presented your main points and provided reasons to support your claims. However, try to provide more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and you have addressed all parts of the task. However, try to provide a more balanced view by acknowledging potential drawbacks of globalization and addressing counterarguments.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is appropriate and you effectively convey your ideas. However, try to incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures. However, pay attention to sentence structure and ensure that your sentences are clear and concise.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.