Some children spent hours every day on their smartphones. Why this is the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In today’s world,
smartphones
are a ubiquitous part of our daily lives and children
spend most of their time on smartphones
. Some people are of the opinion that this
is a positive development while
others believe that there are some drawbacks. This
essay will discuss the reasons for this
and examine the benefits and drawbacks.
It is certainly true that the main reason for children
to spend many hours on their smartphones
is rapidly growing technology and the trend for having a smartphone among certain age groups. In addition
to that, various mobile games
and social media have a huge effect in this
case.
One of the first benefits, it is easy to access information whenever and wherever they need it through their smartphones
, and this
could be beneficial for educational purposes. In addition
, some online games
they play could broaden their imagination and creativity. And these online games
can be considered as a new way of socialization.
Nevertheless
, there are many drawbacks to the usage of smartphones
among children
. First and foremost, this
situation causes a lack of activity and leads to some serious health problems such
as obesity. Many children
eat while
they are watching videos or playing games
on their smartphones
so this
may be the reason for growing obesity problems at young ages. Moreover
, they are not socializing with their friends and families. Their communication skills getting worse. When parents take their smartphones
they can’t find anything to talk to each other and this
may cause serious problems in their future careers since soft skills are becoming more important in college and job applications. Furthermore
, their bond with family members getting weaker since they spend most of their time on smartphones
. They don’t share anything with their parents.
In conclusion, although
this
has both positive and negative impacts on children
, I would argue that,
negative impacts outweigh the benefits and spending many hours on Remove the comma
apply
smartphones
can be considered as a negative development for children
.Submitted by boracibikci on
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coherence cohesion
There is a good overall structure to the response, however, there could be more explicit signposting of the main ideas at the start of each paragraph, and more explicit referencing back to the question throughout. Make sure each idea is directly relevant and directly answers the question. This would enhance the logical progression of your argument.
task achievement
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lexical resource
Your range of vocabulary is appropriate and correctly used. However, you can use a wider variety of complex words. This could improve your lexical resource score.
grammatical range
Your control of grammatical structure is mainly good, although it is suggested that you attempt to use a wider range of complex structures and verb tenses. For example, active/passive voice, relative clauses, conditional sentences, etc. These would bring more diversity to your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.