Music play an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#music #role #society #form #entertainment #individuals

Music

has long been a significant aspect of society, with opinions varying on its role.

While

some argue that

music

is merely a form of

entertainment

for individuals, others contend that its impact goes far beyond mere amusement.

This

essay will explore both perspectives and argue that

music

can profoundly influence individuals' lives, transcending its part as mere

entertainment

. Those who view

music

as a form of

entertainment

emphasize

music

serves as a source of relaxation, enjoyment, and escape from the pressures of daily life. It clearly showed that so many people are into attending a concert despite the price of the concert itself,

for example

, it costs more than USD 425 for a well-known international star like Taylor Swift or Coldplay. People see it as a real bargain considering the experience they

got

Verb problem

have

show examples

On the other hand

music

plays a much deeper act in society than mere

entertainment

. It has the power to evoke strong emotions and express complex feelings that words alone cannot convey. For many individuals,

music

serves as a coping mechanism during challenging times. To illustrate, BTS

music

has proven to save many fans’ lives. BTS become one example that

music

has other roles with socially relevant messages, their

music

has sparked social change and inspired movements among their fans (ARMY), making it an influential force for societal transformation. Beyond its immediate

entertainment

value,

music

has the potential to change someone's life trajectory. For some,

music

serves as a catalyst for personal growth, fostering discipline, teamwork, and self-expression.

Therefore

music

's ability to shape lives and offer a sense of purpose suggests that it extends far beyond the realm of

entertainment

. In conclusion,

while

some perceive

music

solely as a source of amusement, it is evident that its role in society is multifaceted.

Submitted by saynah_ on Sun Nov 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear main point and supports it with relevant evidence

lexical resource

Consider using more diverse and precise vocabulary to enhance your essay

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structures, punctuation, and subject-verb agreement

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

296 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Music play an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions.

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is not fair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taugh to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.