IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The high school years are widely recognized as a period of significant personal growth and academic development. However, for many students, these years are also characterized by immense pressure and stress. What are the primary causes of stress among high school students, and what are the various impacts this stress can have on their lives?

High
school
Use synonyms
 is an important time for
students
Use synonyms
 to grow and develop academically.
However
Linking Words
, many
students
Use synonyms
 experience a lot of
stress
Use synonyms
 during these years.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the main causes of
stress
Use synonyms
 in high
school
Use synonyms
 and how it can affect
students
Use synonyms
' lives. The main reason for
this
Linking Words
 problem is schoolwork, as
students
Use synonyms
 have many subjects to study and must do well in exams. Parents and teachers often want
students
Use synonyms
 to get high marks. Because of
this
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 study very hard and have little time to rest. Some
students
Use synonyms
 not only attend extra classes after
school
Use synonyms
, which makes them even more tired, but
also
Linking Words
 face problems with friends and classmates. They want to be liked and accepted by others, and if they feel left out or are bullied, it can make them very unhappy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, social media can
also
Linking Words
 cause
stress
Use synonyms
 because
students
Use synonyms
 compare themselves to others online.
This
Linking Words
stress
Use synonyms
 can cause many problems. Some
students
Use synonyms
 feel sad or worried all the time, which may make them unable to sleep well or feel tired during the day.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
stress
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 make it hard to focus in class and their marks may go down. In serious cases,
students
Use synonyms
 may not want to go to
school
Use synonyms
 at all. In conclusion, high
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 feel
stress
Use synonyms
 from studying and from social problems, which can hurt their health and
school
Use synonyms
 life. Parents and teachers should help
students
Use synonyms
 deal with
stress
Use synonyms
 and find ways to relax and feel better.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to fully develop your ideas with more explanations or examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve the flow of your essay by using linking words to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies the main causes of stress in high school students.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: