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Band 6.5

The high school years are widely recognized as a period of significant personal growth and academic development. However, for many students, these years are also characterized by immense pressure and stress. What are the primary causes of stress among high school students, and what are the various impacts this stress can have on their lives?

In modern education,
stress
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 has become a common problem among high school
students
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. Many teenagers struggle to balance academic demands, social life, and future expectations. Understanding the main causes of
this
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stress
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 and its effects is essential to help
students
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 cope and succeed. One major cause of
stress
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 is academic
pressure
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.
Students
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 are expected to perform well in exams, complete assignments on time, and often take part in extra classes. Many face
pressure
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 from parents or teachers to achieve high grades and secure a place in top universities.
This
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 constant workload can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and a fear of failure.
In addition
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, peer competition adds to the
pressure
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, as
students
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 compare themselves with others and fear being left behind.
For example
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, a student preparing for university entrance exams in Vietnam may study late into the night for months, attend multiple tutoring sessions, and still feel nervous about meeting expectations. The impact of
this
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stress
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 can be seen in both mental and physical health.
Stress
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 may cause
students
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 to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed. Some may lose interest in school or experience a drop in performance. Physically,
stress
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 can lead to sleep problems, headaches, and
lack
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a lack
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 of energy. In serious cases, it may affect
students
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’ relationships with family and friends
,
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apply
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 and lower their
overall
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 quality of life. In conclusion, academic
pressure
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 and the fear of failure are key causes of
stress
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 among high school
students
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.
This
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stress
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 can seriously affect their health, studies, and social life.
Therefore
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, it is important for schools and parents to
recognize
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recognise
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 these issues and support
students
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 in finding a healthy balance.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and has strong links to previous and next ideas.
task achievement
Provide more examples to support your main points and make them clearer.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and the importance of understanding stress in high school. Good job!
coherence and cohesion
You present your points in a logical order, which helps in understanding the flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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